Motivation Strategies

One of the most important is simply being sure of what you want to accomplish, and sure of what you are willing to sacrifice (namingly, the distractions, things that feel good short term but really hold you back from fulfilment).

For instance, be sure you want to head in a general direction of making a living through whatever means you’ve chosen, AND have learned that video games are no longer fulfilling and so worth sacrificing. Just an example.

Also what I learned recently, is to look at what I need to feel fulfilled, critically. I mean, I was reading this blog were a lady pointed out all the passionate artists including herself who DID somepoint end up nearing the starving artist senario. She then decided she shouldn’t love her passions more than they loved her back, meaning if they can’t provide her basic needs…I guess this is obvious, but going in it probably wasn’t.

I just realize though that for me passions are there but making a living off of them isn’t really a necessity. That would be like trying to use a hammer to solve every problem. I am focusing on web development front end because not only is this an in demand job, but the skills for it can be used to support my passions as well. For instance, blogging, photography, music, etc.

Next, and this lady I was talking about before mentions this too, that in finding something that can support you, you may find in it/through it, something you love, but just couldn’t see until you did it. I have a variation on this which is that sometimes it helps to start with the title page, or the design and appearance of something, because it can then motivate you to build it out further into something real. Like, once I build the front of a website, if it’s really beautiful I think, “if only it was a functioning site…”, and this is motivation to turn it into one. Steve Jobs started with this process for Apple as well, creating the appearance of the device first, and fitting all the functionality into it.

This might not work for everyone , but for me since I have a large appreciation for beauty, this is a huge motivator for me.

The next huge motivator for me, is music, another form of beauty. I am realizing that a lot of that vibe I got from video games and anime and movies that made me want to be in that world, was the music. The music adds a lot of meaning to the experience, a lot of emotion.

I feel like I’m at the point where I only want to do things that further me towards my goals. Although I still like to check out the odd anime. So it’s like, all that is missing is that the pursuit of my goals not leave me feeling empty. Music helps greatly with this, as does working on things that will be aesthetically pleasing.

Not sure how I came to view web dev as a good option actually lol, I guess I’ve been considering it for a long time though. Out of all the options, I guess web dev seems like the one that’s most likely to work out in the near future, which is I guess important for me as I’m in adult hood and still at home. Also it’s a skill that runs paralell with my personal goals in many ways. It’s actually the only thing keeping me from acting on many of my other goals, as if I could just create communities around my interests I’d be able to do a lot.

I’m just trying to figure out why this is such a good solution for me. I’m sure it won’t be the answer for everyone so I’m taking a birds eye view on what is bringing me to this decision. I guess it’s just that though, that it’s inline with my personal goals, including my long term goal for personal freedom to work how I please and on what I please.

I still plan to attend school for psych/phil because I like school. However, I am expecting my job to be in web dev well before anything comes out of my traditional education.

It’s interesting that this goal and how it would be a skill I might want to learn on my own anyway, is not one that is strictly a passion. It’s like a support for a passion. It seems a lot of artists etc focus only on their skills as artists. The ones who do are I guess specialists and if that is the case them most likely they are devoted enough and will get where they want.

I on the other hand I guess I’m more of a generalists. I dabble in lot’s of things, although I do feel I have some areas where I am doing extremely well. It’s more like, I WANT to be able to do everything, and so this kind of includes the things that I’m not passionate about in an artistic way, but appreciate for their value. So maybe that type of characteristic is what would lead someone to find jobs that build skills that support their passions without strictly being their passions. Hm! lol.

The urge to provide

My obsessing over what I could do to make a living, I think was based on the stress of how hard good jobs are to get. If for instance, I could have gotten a high paying job right out of college like I thought I would, I think I would have taken it. I mean, if it didn’t feel like I was in some kind of competition and needed to sell myself beyond my diploma. There was a time when it was easy to get a good job out of high school or college. In that age I feel like becoming self sufficient would have been easier. I mean, yes I think there would still be other things I would want. However, I would have been set as far as supporting myself was concerned.

So I guess what this makes me think is that what I need to get right now is work life stability. All the other passions can come, but this basic passion of freedom needs my attention now. I feel like if I were supporting myself, I would appreciate all my other passions that much more. I feel like I have this natural instinct to provide, for myself at least, and I think I need to go about meeting this need in the most efficient way possible.

However, when I think about the need to provide for myself, my thoughts drift towards areas like programming instead of philosophy. See programming is easier to get jobs in, although I definitely have a knack for philosophy. The best bet would be to do programming as well to keep my options open I guess. However, this division of goals between school and money makes this hard. If I joined a group though…or just got some people together…Or just made a daily allowance of 1 hour max for programming and I had to learn as much as I could in that time. It would make sense to focus on games or web dev because those areas will build a useable portfolio fastest I think. Out of those two, games are more fun. Then at the same time, if I did programming I could easily shift my experiments onto youtube and make friends in that scene. It would benifit me greatly to do this because it would make jobs easier to get when it came time to look. I would have to have the mindset of I’m trying to become awesome at this as if to program another world, or something. I should not stick to the basicl game ideas, but go off on tangents to make weird and wonderful things. I should have space music in the background when I work to make it more enjoyable. 1 hour a day…hmm it’s definitly an idea. I mean, it’s an investment, and if I feel it’s sound I can take out a load and move out knowing I’ll have jobs waiting for me when I’m ready. Maybe not in games, but in something interesting. People like to hear that I’ve played with mini max algorithms. I guess  need to push myself just a bit.

The thing that scares me is when people say with programming you either love it or you hate it. It doesn’t seem to be that way for me. Nothing does. It’s a day to day thing for me when it comes to what I enjoy doing. For instance right now I hate the chinese language or at least the hanzi. However, I’m pretty sure I’ll start liking it again soon after a nice break. So for a job, I can’t go by what I “love” because that changes all the tim. I need to go by what I’m good at that pays and is interesting.  I can get into a flow state while programming, so there’s that too.

Better Sleep, Fun vs Survival, Get a job vs Making games

Yesterday I did a lot of things right. I did a lot of walking(serotonin), ate a banana(tryptophan), two turkey patties(tryptophan), peanuts(I think tryptophan), zinc(melotonin), vitamin c(reduce cortisol), brown bread as night snake(serotonin). Most of these are things that convert to melotonin at night I’m not surprised I slept so well. So those could all be reasons why I slept great last night. Also I did somehting That and the fact that I had been weight training every other day so even though my sleep wasn’t best, it was like I was primed for a good night sleep whenever it was ready to happen.

Today I woke up and my breathing was deeper. I felt lighter. Also I felt the obsessiveness I have been having for the past week has faded. I feel more clear headed. Part of me feels like, wow what was I even thinking the past few days. I have more confidence in myself and my ability to succeed in life, or, the confidence I almost always have, is more on the tip of my tongue so to speak.

In the gym I got this rush of energy in the middle of my seated cable rows exercise. It more than just energy too, it was like an optimism, and a spiritual(existential) thing. I had put on a song I found last year and was remembering all the feelings of that time.  (See serotonin has a big role in memory, especially positive memories. Then I just felt so centered, like I was connecting to my past selves. The selves that wanted different things, for different reasons. The self that valued athleticism for it’s own sake, or for the sake of self improvement(leveling up…), not for some of the external reasons I’ve had as of late.

Then I talked to people and just realized how I should be feeling when talking people. It shouldn’t be something serious. I should be having fun. That is a big part of who I was that I forgot.

I realized that the last week I was having something of an existential crisis, feeling like I needed to achieve certain things or else my life would be meaningless. I feel now like that was the result of my body being in a less than optimal state which put my mind in sort of a survival mode. It was I’d say, a lower level of consciousness where survival was priority. I was still logical about my reasoning which was scary. I felt like, of course survival and evolution to be able to survive better, should be priority. However that is like, the highest level of scarcity. Not enjoying the gift of life, only trying to protect it. I mean, sure protect it if it is at risk, but in general there should not be anxiety about life. I would argue there should not even be anxiety about the end of life, unless it is an immediate risk, because otherwise the end of life is always a possibility and therefore infinite measure would have to be taken to protect it meaning no actually enjoying(loving) of life. That would be a shame I guess.

So, I feel that levity and curiosity should take precedence over anxiety in all cases beyond actual threat. Not to say work should not be done. Just that it should be work towards more enjoyment, not more survival. Not to say people shouldn’t get into medicine and find ways to live longer. Just that it should be for the sake of enjoyment like curiosity, not out of existential anxiety. Of course, in order to get to this point, it took certain conditions, which actually, where health factors. Factors that you could say would contribute to me living longer. As well, it is known that enjoyment of life and low anxiety, is correlated with living longer, to the extent of lengthening telomeres that control aging, and other changes at the genetic level.

So that’s the first aspect. I think this may be true especially for people who have introverted sensing as their forth function. We don’t sense as easily when we are screwing ourselves over physically until we are an mental mess.

The second thing, is about work. Does work contribute to feeling like you’ve given a day your all. Does work contribute to feeling like it’s ok to go to sleep at night. I wonder about this because some nights I just don’t want to sleep. I feel like I haven’t done anything. I’m not sure if that is a cause of decreasing fitness, or the effect of it. I know when I jog, and maybe now even just walk, for 30min a day, I am able to go to bed usually, without obsessing. However, I can’t always jog, especially now that my foot is bothering me. Also, even if I could always jog, I’m not sure I would want to. I feel accomplished after a good weight training session because I see physical results when I get that pump. Walking is ok because I can actually be going somewhere, like an 30min walk to the mall. However, jogging, although it feels great when I’m done, it feels kind of like I didn’t do anything also. I guess you could say I’m not passionate about it.

So what I wonder, is if my body depends on jogging so much that I need to do it every other day, even when it comes with no benefits other than better sleep. Or if walking could take it’s place. Or, if just working hard on a task, could take it’s place. Jogging just seems too strenuous, too hard on the joints, and to uninvolved to motivate me. Walking I can do and will do. However, I do feel like there is something else keeping me up at night. Maybe that something is about needing a goal, which I know I really do need and have needed for a while.

So what happened last night that lead me to this conclusion? Well, last nigh I tried game programming. I made an animation using pygame which took like two hours between learning what to install, and fixing errors. I do feel like games are an ultimate for of creative expression because they combine every other form of it into one and add interactivity. They are cutting edge. As well, I mean, “game” just the word, well it could mean dead animal in a lioness’s mouth, but I would say it means fun.

So games are about having fun. So making games, are about making fun. So, as I said that I feel life should be about fun instead of survival, I feel like making games would be a very high if not the highest expression of that. So I kind of feel like in making games, my need for achievement will feel more fulfilled. See I feel it was my search for fulfillment that has always lead me to stay up late. Not that I feel I will always go to bed on time now. However, I wonder, maybe if I do stay up late sometimes, working on something I find fulfilling, I would sleep better, when I finally do.

btw, the way I decided to learn game programming again was realizing I was tired just in general and so I would stop thinking about making money and focus on what would make me happy, like studying about psychology and maybe policy at university. Just focusing on doing things that will help the world, as there really aren’t that many people doing that. After deciding to do that, I thought, what would I do for fun tho? Then I though about game design and every online painted a description that getting into game design required either school, or hustling to get known in some way, or just making your own games. Also I learned that certain programming languages are more fun than others. So I decided to give python(supposedly more fun) a try.

I definitely feel myself come alive at the thought of making a game and showing people and them having fun with it. It doesn’t hurt that I could make money and that my programming skills could translate into jobs in other areas, that definitely is a confidence boost but I would rather be paid for something I know is changing the world like policy or psych (including this blog), than something that will make people happy but leaves many problems unsolved. I think If given the option I would at least do both. Although it is nice to see there is an area where fun and money have a strong overlap, it gives even more strength to my ideas above. However, my problem is that although the idea of making games is amazing, the idea of sitting alone for long hours to program is not. So I will experiment with work flow, lengths of time on task, goal choice, socio-environmental factors, frequency of work, ect, and see if there is a way I can get myself to be working on something I love, without feeling like I am giving up too much of something else in the process.

Also the coolest people seem to work in games, guys and girls, which draws me even further towards it as something I want in my life.


Efficiency, Strategy, Creative Strategist, ENTP Careers

Whether it is the genetic efficiency of facial symmetry, or the linguistic efficiency of words that rhyme, it seems efficiency is strongly related to beauty.

Today I was thinking of my situation(wanting money to do more stuff with) from a few different perspectives. One was the idea of focusing on things I want in life and letting the value flow out of the achievements I make there. However the other perspective which I feel is extremely valid is that one of the things I want in life is financial freedom. This is valid in my opinion because it’s just like the idea of building a house, which I would love to do, if only it was legal, but I would have to have so many certifications ect. I feel lie my personality type thrives on solving it’s problems in the most efficient way possible. I also feel almost like my reward circuitry is a bit related to that of a hunter gatherer, where value comes from quick kills of quick finds, no excessive drawn out work. The “finds” are the ideas that are easily actionable and take not too long to implement but save lot’s of time and energy.

I think what sparked this whole efficiency thing was that at work when people order certain meals, I sometimes spot alternative ways they could place their order where they save money and so I tell them. So I realized I just made someone 2 dollars through financial strategy.

So the more I thought about efficiency, the more I realized how much of the way I work is focused on maximizing efficiency. I am a rational type after all and therefore strategic. It’s not that I don’t have passions beyond efficiency, just that I need to make the process of pursuing my passions as efficient as possible, time, energy and especially emotionally. This is where all the language learning research came from. I’m not content to take 5 years to learn a language, or to drill the same words endlessly. I feel that maybe ENTPs are “efficiency sensitive” meaning our motivation depends on efficiency and is driven by it.

Now this next bit will be even more out there:

In a previous post I stated briefly the idea that “the universe is running on love” could be true in that everything happens going by the path of least resistance. The only thing that sometimes doesn’t do this is the human consciousness when we choose to hate ourselves do things out of that place, instead of things that come naturally.

To continue that thought I can say the universe is running on efficiency, or striving for greater efficiency. This is why humans who are the most healthy, are on average the most attractive, and on average their genes run on the most efficiency algorithms.

I’m not sure if all types would consciously want to strive towards efficiency, but I think many NT types would at least to some extent. I feel that when it comes to making a living, which in North America really means “making a thriving”(not complaining either), for me, my best bet would be to focus on efficiency in my life, (and maybe in other peoples although I’ll come back to this), to the exclusion of any specific field of study. Just, my field of study will be efficiency of humanity, or something like that. I feel that with my Ne and Ti, I would be able to put my natural inventiveness to excellent use in this strategic fashion. I actually already do so when push comes to shove, like at work, and when I do chores at home. As well, as someone else said at some point on some blog, being frugal becomes addictive. I guess because it’s strategy in action. However, I don’t think being frugal is enough because I want to create new value.

Also I don’t think I want to focus on a goal that is too long either. I mean, that wouldn’t be as efficient as something I could do in one day and reap benefits for a long time. See someone who isn’t looking for those kinds of ideas, thinking along those lines, how could they find them. No, they’ll just keep working hard long hours because they aren’t sensitive to the redundancy.

Anyways, so will I learn programming? Sure, if I need to, like to move the contents of a bunch of sticky notes into a note pad, I could create a batch file or something.

Also if I think about some of the greatest inventors of our time (steve jobs), what they did was make something more efficient. A computer for everyone, a car for everyone, a store for everything, ect. Then there is the programming stuff which apparently efficiency has such a huge role in.

Also efficiency strategies give me a sense of achievement, and I love the fact that making work more efficient would mean having to do less of it! Or even just getting more for less work, ect.


After writing this post I decided to do some research to see if there was a trend of entps feeling the same way and I found:

Then more searching lead me to this guy:

which lead me to the term “creative strategist”:

This actually seems to suit my idea very well as far as focusing my strengths on efficiency. I am pretty sure I already any opportunity to use my strengths to help other people, because the the (E) maybe. However, if I were to focus on making my life more efficient, for one I feel I already naturally do make it more efficient in that I make fun and happiness as accessible as possible. Beyond that I’m thinking I would be far more motivated to make someone else’s life more efficient than my own. I can see this as a strength and as a weakness. It’s a strength because it means I will naturally gravitate towards solving other peoples problems which is pretty organic in that I am giving value to others and so it would make sense that I am given value in return. However, I can see this as a weakness in that I’m dependent on other people to appreciate what I do, for me to even be motivated to work on something. I could just focus on making my life more efficient in the job I have and not even worry about anything else, however that seems short sighted.

I mean I could start an ebay business or something and try to automate everything about it, but I’m leaning towards the “do cool shit” philanthroprenuer idea of just finding businesses I believe in and am/become a part of, and then help them become more efficient(enable them to create more value somehow), hopefully leading to a job or some recognition.

It’s about increasing the efficiency in areas I believe in, which could be something I start for myself or for others, that I believe in, but for now it seems like it will be something others have started already that I am becoming a part of. At least as far as making money is concerned. I mean I’ll do the stuff I believe in already, but for making money I’ll have to sell my strengths to others in this way, as when I utilize these strengths for my own personal use, the end result is not as marketable, although extremely valuable. As well it’s not like I’m only focused on businesses, I’m focused on anyone who could use strategy, like with the customer today.

Really, money is a measure of contribution to society. My philosophy is that everyone enjoys contributing if it is from their strengths. There seems little point for me to turn money into something else like something personal, if I don’t naturally feel that way. I mean naturally when I want money it’s a single minded thing, not like I want to do this and it just so happens to sell. I’m contributing to society so I make money which can buy stuff society produces that I don’t feel like producing myself. So I’m already interdependent as far as wanting stuff someone else made. It seems like a romantic notion that a person has a craft, they make someone and sell/trade it. There are still people who do this though, like programmers who make web apps ect, maybe even stuff that increases efficiency. However I feel programming is not as efficient as free creativity which can create ideas for any market.

Also the reason I would target businesses instead of just people is because with businesses their goal is to make money, so if I help them make money, it’s like I’m part of business and will feel like I should be compensated, where as if I help people with things in their lives it’s like I’m doing them a favor. Of course I’ll still help people where I can, but I wont charge or anything.

In selling my service to business I would kind of be saying, “nice business, it would be my pleasure to show you how to make it even better so it makes you more money. Then give me some!”


Universal Laws, Innate compass, Music

Follow up from last post: So today I worked out at the gym at school and felt good after. Then I went to the library and made music, played around with a harmony until I got something I liked including the right instrument, and then I added melodies, ambience, drums, ect, and it was awesome. The whole time I was thinking very deep thoughts as I explored novel music that has never been heard before, and found what I liked. I guess I was thinking kind of depressing thoughts, but more like I was working through some troubling thoughts, and I felt myself almost building up stories in my head to go along with that music and those thoughts. It was all about discovery, self discovery even, just finding something i liked, by putting it together, instead of by surfing the web mindlessly, so I was finding./creating something that expressed who I was, to me, and now that the music is on youtube, to everyone.

I realized also that music is the one thing that after I create something, I come back to experience it again and even to add to it because I just enjoy it and it speaks to my soul so well. I almost never look through my old artwork, or my old AMVs, or my old poetry(unless it goes with music and/or is sooo deep), or even my old stories really. Just music.

Recap: I had a dream that I was in a outdoor hot tub or natural spring, in a very beautiful forest at night with a friend. Then turned to my right and it was ATB sitting in the pool with a red shirt on. I realized I had a red shirt on too and I said hey look. Then he showed me under the sleeve that he had a patterned shirt on underneath, and I rolled up my sleeve realizing I had the same patterned shirt on underneath as well. The shirts weren’t exactly the same, just close enough that it was coincidental.

After telling someone close to me about that dream, the next day (yesterday) I was in a weird mood, wondering why I couldn’t make my self happy, feel love, deciding that there must be way to provide those feelings for myself. Not love like social love, love like happiness. I made some music before going to see some films and the music was not bad, just ok/good. Today I made more music and it was even better and it could be that I took more time to find something I like when I create, instead of just sticking with whatever came out. So if that dream meant something, maybe it meant I was musical at heart as well.

Today: of course I didn’t try to polish my music for anyone else, I just made sure I was making music I could enjoy, putting a bit of time in to try and find a sound that I could maybe even love. Also I think I was experiencing flow state as I ended up working on the music for maybe 2 hours+ when I meant to just give it 30min to an hour.

Then I went to play Magic the Gathering: and what happened was I made a bunch of really good decisions one after the other.
1) The guy told me about a draft of conspiracy where cards aren’t standard legal. I was thinking don’t play safe my money, but then I decided to wait it out, then I heard him say some cards were worth money so I said I’ll play. Especially since I came to meet people and have fun not to build a tournament deck and sit in the corner and brood.
2) I let the guy beside me give me whatever packs he wanted cause it’s random so even tho he kind of mixed them up and gave someone else the ones that were supposed to go to me it doesn’t matter
Result of these:
I got cards that made back the money I spent

3) Decided to go in for another draft cause it was only 8 or so and I didn’t feel like going home

I got a card worth 100$ which the store will only give me 60$ store credit for but that along with the cards from previous draft, plus third place in finals means 8$ more store credit. So I can use these to get most of the cards I need for a deck I could play in a standard tournament, and I had fun.

So I’m wondering if luck has anything to do with universal laws like doing things out of love instead of trying to take in some other way. Although I can imagine luck still being just luck, one thing for sure is that I am way happier doing things for the love of it and of the people I interact with, than for some other type of gain which wont mean anything without the people component. I also wonder if we really do have some internal compass like love where at least paired with the gaining of knowledge we can follow it and never be led astray, and never have to worry about other peoples judgements or fabricated concepts ect.


A watched pot never boils: Objectives vs Openess: & Giving

I remember wanting dread locks for so long as a kid but wanting them so bad that I got tired of waiting, tired of the nappy hair I had instead and just combed it out and braided it. Maybe it was for the best, maybe my hair wouldn’t have dreaded that way iunno. However, in college I got sick of upbraiding my hair as it was getting harder to do as I’d leave it for a while. So  just stopped upbraiding it and had dreads within the year.

I often find it easy to stick with something if I’m doing it out of enjoyment. However as soon as I’m doing it just to achieve it, I feel myself being drained and wanting to quit. Not feeling inspired.

When I work out consistently it’s no that I’m focusing on my fitness as some goal for the future like, I want to gain 20 pounds. Now way, that would hurt to think about. It would hurt to be in a state of having not achieved something. Instead I work out or the immediate feeling afterwards, the euphoria and the pump and the testosterone. So I’m never watching the pot.

I don’t write this blog with the intention of reaching a certain number of posts or followers ect. If I did that, even just imagining doing that already makes me feel sick. I think I’m very sensitive to doing shit for the wrong reasons now as I have  lot of experience burning out doing things that weren’t right for me.

Now when I think about wanting to meet new people, form new relationships, It’s almost like these same idea is magnified by the fact that the goal is for someone on the other end to see me as healthy and good for them and to accept my invitation interact. Therefore for the sake of the interaction as well as my own health, I can’t be so desperate. Not only that, but being desperate means I’m watching the pot. What happens is I decide my goal is to make friends, and that becomes my obsession because I have an obsessive personality. I can control it but I chose to obsess, it’s often very efficient. I get what I want faster.

However, not if what I want depends on time. On time for water to boil. For the right person to come along at the right time and for me to be the right person at that time as well. I can’t wait for the water to boil. So what I thought was just as I can’t push through learning a skill  don’t want just to make money to spend recovering from doing  a job I don’t like, and instead settled for meaning and whatever the minimum job I needed to support that. The same will go for relationships. I don’t want to push through so much negative energy that comes from neglecting the people who matter for the chance to meet more. neglecting myself in search of others and then have nothing to show but the shell of what I really find meaningful.

So now I will focus instead on what I find meaningful which although it could be summed up as my happiness, in more detail it is about solving big problems that exist and that are mine to solve. The pieces of glass that I spot on the carpet first and remove so no one else cuts themselves. Writing this post for example, is removing one piece of glass. The shards are removed for me as well as everyone.

Then I realized, wait, if I focus now on just doing something meaningful, that will just the same be waiting for water to boil. Even with the thing that seems most important to me, if I set long term goals to work towards, wow, it is nauseating. So even for the most meaningful things, like this blog, the posts aren’t summoned on to the page. I guess the way my life works is more moment by moment. Meaning for me is more immediate. Well it has been said in some forums that ENTP creativity is often more about how to solve immediate problems where as other types may have a single long term focus for their creativity. It’s not that I don’t have long term goals. I wanted dreads, I want a nicer and nicer body, I want this blog to be very useful, ect. It’s just that focusing on the long term doesn’t benefit my motivation. It could even be that I just see so many immediate opportunities that long term possibilities don’t feel worth working towards. Why wait for dreads when I ca have braids in one hour, why wait for a steroid body when I can get a nice pump in an hour, why learn 3000 vocab words i Spanish when I can speak with just 200 verbs. why wait for money and relationships when I can love myself right now.

So it’s not like I am just not motivated by long term goals, just that I see more opportunities for growth far nearer in the future and if the are good enough that the out weight the long term goals, It’s just more efficient to take the more immediate ones. I wonder if maybe I’ve just somehow learned to look for shorter term gain, but learned how, maybe just cause I’m good at doing so.

So I’ve noticed there are two ways to do amazing things. One is the more common idea of just having a big goal and achieving it. Having a dream that you can verbalize and setting out for it no matter how long it takes.

Maybe less common though, is the one that works for me which is to be open to and observant enough to see opportunities to do things, some of which might be small on their own(although cost effective enough to be very worth while) and which add up, and others equally easy to act on but that have a huge pay off.

Also it’s not like I don’t have dreams or long term goals. Just that I wont work towards a dream as if it were a single thing. Instead it is made up of many smaller opportunities that I find/create and take. So it’s kind of like the difference between an inventor and a discoverer. The inventor creates/designs a blog with a premeditated and specific purpose. For my this blog is to help people, how it does that depends on what I discover through my life that can help people. I work out so after every session I discover a little bit more pump, even though the overall idea is that I look better, I don’t obsess over it.

When I do obsess, it will be out of interest, discovery, opportunity, not watching water boil. Basically if the goal requires time and I can’t shorten that time until it’s cost effective or close to nothing, through thinking it through and planning, then for me, obsessing over it will be watching water boil. In that case(assuming the goal is meaningful enough) I need a path to that goal with other short term goals that feel worth doing.

So I feel like I’m open to the goal of improving my fitness, and then within that goal I am open to other more immediate benefits of the way I train. So as far as meaning, meaningful long term goal = make world far better place, short term =  this blog post, random things I learn in school that spark thoughts, ect.

Long term =  meet cool people, short term = do meaningful things that attract cool people + be open to opportunity to talk to cool people but don’t obsess, don’t wait for water to boil.

why is meaningful goals the short term for relationships and money when they aren’t completely related. Well because money and relationships both involve society deciding in time to give me something and it could take a while to society to get around to that even if I make initiative when I see the chance so and in the meantime I wont watch water boil, I’d rather do something that makes me happy.

Not that society will make me happier than I’ll make myself with my meaningful goals either. In fact my meaningful goals are more important than money or new relationships. See, watching water boil is innately not meaningful to me where as the other stuff is.

Also giving beats taking in relationship between one and their society. It can be said that I already have a relationship with money and with society by simply choosing to give. Giving is a whole other universal principle I could look at and if I were to say Society:money/relationships and meaning:social/personal were two separate things, giving would be the way to get both of them.
Giving to society leads to wealth and relationships, giving to society what you feel is meaningful to give is meaningful.

So if I talk to someone  meet now, it will be from a state of short term gain *Curiosity* then positive feelings, ect. However this whole interaction will be buffered by me already being giving to myself so as to not feel like I need something from the other person beyond what they want to give.

I feel like this is two posts in one. #1: being open to the many short term opportunities for growth that help towards a blurry long term goal instead of honing in on one crystal clear long term and waiting for that water to boil.

#2: being open to relationships and money without being dependent on them and instead finding happiness in meaningful goals, which will be composed of #1, short term opportunities for growth.

so put yet another way. A: Depend on personal meaningful goals for happiness (easier to get AND more substantial)and let social goals be on the periphery, no dependance.

B: The meaningful goals are composed of short term opportunities for growth(easier to get AND in some cases more substantial).

put yet another way

The short term obsessions are easiest way to meaningful goals and giving, the meaningful goals and giving are the easiest way to happiness. The social goals(relationships/money) May have no need to exist if the meaningful goals require people to help and when achieved do a lot for others.

Alright I’m trying to connect these two ideas because I do feel they are connected even though I can’t see how yet. I’ll try now.Basically it’s about scarcity, more specifically it’s that feeling of desperation that comes when you are depending on something outside yourself for happiness. When it comes to social interaction it is always outside the self so I like having more meaningful goals so I’m grounded. If it’s personal goals maybe how close to the self depends on how long the task will take and there is a limit in time, maybe a day or iunno where beyond that the goal is to far in the future to be considered part of you. Just like being closer physically to a person makes you feel more connected, being closer in time to a goal makes you feel more connected.

Note: Getting more sleep helped greatly in lessening the feeling that I needed to talk to people to feel good. Yes I’m an extrovert but I wonder if maybe health could trump social/external stimulation in energy generation for extroverts


Philosophy of Value Creation

When I say value I don’t mean simply creating something
that has a use. I’m talking more of the steve pavlina “value”.
That value that is creatings something priceless. Something that
only you can create.

So as someone who would like to have more financial freedom I
find myself thinking about ways to make money which leads to
starting a business which leads to how can I create real value.
Something only I can create (hence no competition) and something
people would pay good money for.

I feel the process of value create maybe has not been understood
and therefore not correctly described by anyone I’ve read the works
of so far so I will try to cover this idea by correcting the main
things I feel people get wrong.

1) Follow you passion.
It’s not that simple. Follow your passion for most people is a dream
of being able to get paid to just enjoy yourself. “I like music, therefore
it’s my passion therefore I should be able to get paid to play or critique
it.” I’m sure there are people who do get this opportunity but I would
argue that they are not create that “real value” and that they are not
even following their real “passion(s)”

Let’s look at passion a different way, hopefully this will shed light
on the idea as it has for me, for you.

Hitler had passion. He saw what in his mind was a huge problem and
he was passionate about solving it. I can’t say he created anything of
value, because his passion was based on an inaccurate perception of
other human beings, in my opinion. He did have passion.

In my opinion, Passion is not just doing something you like, it’s an
energy for overcoming obstacles.

Let’s look at a more relaxed few of passion. Let’s say there is a guy
who generally likes music, and art and movies ect, and doesn’t really
like math or science ect. This type is pretty common I think.
Most would say one of these things, or all, will be his passion.
However, What else is going on in this persons life. His relationships,
his health, his environment. Is there something in his life that he wants
to see changed so bad but maybe just doesn’t think he is the guy to do it?
I think for most of this type, the answer is yes.

Now, to be clear, I am writing this because it is my solving of a problem,
so it is something I am doing with passion. Sharing it with you is also
something I do with passion because I want people to know what I know so
the world can be a better place. Also, more specifically, I am writing this
instead of studying biology to find a cure for cancer, because I know that
this is an area where my strengths, the philosophical way I approach a problem,
allows me to do the most towards a passion which for me right now is simply
how to make a living doing something meaningful.

2)Creating something you love vs solving a problem
Everyone has ideas, it’s easy to think of something you think would be cool.
However, would anyone else pay for it? The thing that makes solving a
problem so critical is that we are wired to value the solving of problems.
One idea that can solve one small problem for a person now is often worth more
to them that a number of great ideas that don’t solve a problem. See, great
Ideas are easy, solving problems are not as easy. EXCEPT, when you are passionate
about it, and when you are solving a problem that uses your strength

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