Motivation Strategies

One of the most important is simply being sure of what you want to accomplish, and sure of what you are willing to sacrifice (namingly, the distractions, things that feel good short term but really hold you back from fulfilment).

For instance, be sure you want to head in a general direction of making a living through whatever means you’ve chosen, AND have learned that video games are no longer fulfilling and so worth sacrificing. Just an example.

Also what I learned recently, is to look at what I need to feel fulfilled, critically. I mean, I was reading this blog were a lady pointed out all the passionate artists including herself who DID somepoint end up nearing the starving artist senario. She then decided she shouldn’t love her passions more than they loved her back, meaning if they can’t provide her basic needs…I guess this is obvious, but going in it probably wasn’t.

I just realize though that for me passions are there but making a living off of them isn’t really a necessity. That would be like trying to use a hammer to solve every problem. I am focusing on web development front end because not only is this an in demand job, but the skills for it can be used to support my passions as well. For instance, blogging, photography, music, etc.

Next, and this lady I was talking about before mentions this too, that in finding something that can support you, you may find in it/through it, something you love, but just couldn’t see until you did it. I have a variation on this which is that sometimes it helps to start with the title page, or the design and appearance of something, because it can then motivate you to build it out further into something real. Like, once I build the front of a website, if it’s really beautiful I think, “if only it was a functioning site…”, and this is motivation to turn it into one. Steve Jobs started with this process for Apple as well, creating the appearance of the device first, and fitting all the functionality into it.

This might not work for everyone , but for me since I have a large appreciation for beauty, this is a huge motivator for me.

The next huge motivator for me, is music, another form of beauty. I am realizing that a lot of that vibe I got from video games and anime and movies that made me want to be in that world, was the music. The music adds a lot of meaning to the experience, a lot of emotion.

I feel like I’m at the point where I only want to do things that further me towards my goals. Although I still like to check out the odd anime. So it’s like, all that is missing is that the pursuit of my goals not leave me feeling empty. Music helps greatly with this, as does working on things that will be aesthetically pleasing.

Not sure how I came to view web dev as a good option actually lol, I guess I’ve been considering it for a long time though. Out of all the options, I guess web dev seems like the one that’s most likely to work out in the near future, which is I guess important for me as I’m in adult hood and still at home. Also it’s a skill that runs paralell with my personal goals in many ways. It’s actually the only thing keeping me from acting on many of my other goals, as if I could just create communities around my interests I’d be able to do a lot.

I’m just trying to figure out why this is such a good solution for me. I’m sure it won’t be the answer for everyone so I’m taking a birds eye view on what is bringing me to this decision. I guess it’s just that though, that it’s inline with my personal goals, including my long term goal for personal freedom to work how I please and on what I please.

I still plan to attend school for psych/phil because I like school. However, I am expecting my job to be in web dev well before anything comes out of my traditional education.

It’s interesting that this goal and how it would be a skill I might want to learn on my own anyway, is not one that is strictly a passion. It’s like a support for a passion. It seems a lot of artists etc focus only on their skills as artists. The ones who do are I guess specialists and if that is the case them most likely they are devoted enough and will get where they want.

I on the other hand I guess I’m more of a generalists. I dabble in lot’s of things, although I do feel I have some areas where I am doing extremely well. It’s more like, I WANT to be able to do everything, and so this kind of includes the things that I’m not passionate about in an artistic way, but appreciate for their value. So maybe that type of characteristic is what would lead someone to find jobs that build skills that support their passions without strictly being their passions. Hm! lol.


The urge to provide

My obsessing over what I could do to make a living, I think was based on the stress of how hard good jobs are to get. If for instance, I could have gotten a high paying job right out of college like I thought I would, I think I would have taken it. I mean, if it didn’t feel like I was in some kind of competition and needed to sell myself beyond my diploma. There was a time when it was easy to get a good job out of high school or college. In that age I feel like becoming self sufficient would have been easier. I mean, yes I think there would still be other things I would want. However, I would have been set as far as supporting myself was concerned.

So I guess what this makes me think is that what I need to get right now is work life stability. All the other passions can come, but this basic passion of freedom needs my attention now. I feel like if I were supporting myself, I would appreciate all my other passions that much more. I feel like I have this natural instinct to provide, for myself at least, and I think I need to go about meeting this need in the most efficient way possible.

However, when I think about the need to provide for myself, my thoughts drift towards areas like programming instead of philosophy. See programming is easier to get jobs in, although I definitely have a knack for philosophy. The best bet would be to do programming as well to keep my options open I guess. However, this division of goals between school and money makes this hard. If I joined a group though…or just got some people together…Or just made a daily allowance of 1 hour max for programming and I had to learn as much as I could in that time. It would make sense to focus on games or web dev because those areas will build a useable portfolio fastest I think. Out of those two, games are more fun. Then at the same time, if I did programming I could easily shift my experiments onto youtube and make friends in that scene. It would benifit me greatly to do this because it would make jobs easier to get when it came time to look. I would have to have the mindset of I’m trying to become awesome at this as if to program another world, or something. I should not stick to the basicl game ideas, but go off on tangents to make weird and wonderful things. I should have space music in the background when I work to make it more enjoyable. 1 hour a day…hmm it’s definitly an idea. I mean, it’s an investment, and if I feel it’s sound I can take out a load and move out knowing I’ll have jobs waiting for me when I’m ready. Maybe not in games, but in something interesting. People like to hear that I’ve played with mini max algorithms. I guess  need to push myself just a bit.

The thing that scares me is when people say with programming you either love it or you hate it. It doesn’t seem to be that way for me. Nothing does. It’s a day to day thing for me when it comes to what I enjoy doing. For instance right now I hate the chinese language or at least the hanzi. However, I’m pretty sure I’ll start liking it again soon after a nice break. So for a job, I can’t go by what I “love” because that changes all the tim. I need to go by what I’m good at that pays and is interesting.  I can get into a flow state while programming, so there’s that too.

Jogging for Increased Inspiration/Direction cont.

        Is it that I stop believing in what I love of is it that I stop loving what I love enough to believe in it regardless of if it’s actually worthy. Iunno, I wonder if after jogging, i will still feel like moving out somehow while still doing school or is that just something that comes from feeling not in control and seeking that feeling from external environment instead of from personal health. I think it’s possible that I’ve solved the issue of wanting to do creative writing in order to move out but not being able to create because of  lack of motivation or inspiration. I realize that I don’t have inspiration when I’m focused on money more than the joy, but also because when I haven’t been jogging, this causes both lack  of inspiration and a lack of belief that what I’m doing is worthy for it’s own right and might even pay off.

        When I have been jogging, I seem to feel like what I’m doing is productive even if it’s entertainment, I mean entp entertainment, so creative things, of course, it will be original and valuable. Not everyone should be a doctor, someone has to make the toys, music, ect. Whatever else someone is inspired to do, regardless of whether or not they are paid, if it feels worthy enough the gamble should be taken maybe. It seems jogging increases both feelings that passion is worthy AND the level of creativity that goes into that passion. So maybe it isn’t because I didn’t have money that I felt I could do what I wanted, but hat because of not jogging that I could feel what I wanted to do, and maybe make money through that ,, otherwise do it prolifically and, be doing what I want, regardless.

        Sure living at home may feel like I’m depending on other people, and getting support, but people seem to be fooled into thinking that means I’m not taking responsibility for myself. When in fact I do nothing but that, and have never expected handouts, but am nothing but focused on what is worthy for me to focus on. Also when I jog, I don’t focus on how to be happy or have an awesome life, cause I already have it after that so I’m just focusing on enjoying it which takes lots of creativity. Also I wonder if I’m more curious after jogging, as curiosity and anxiety are opposing emotional state. Also I just feel like when I’m not jogging , I don’t have time to be curious cause I’m too worried about feeling worthy ect. Where as after jogging I am more interested in enjoying myself which curiosity is a part.

        So all this actually begs the question, is there any point even trying to accomplish things on days like today where I didn’t get enough sleep and when thoughts about my future career potential are creeping back in. I realize that my brain is becoming wired to approach my life in a way I feel is more on the pessimistic side. So I have the option of either entertaining that opinion and obsessing over those things until my next jog and good night’s sleep, trying to focus on what I think I would focus on if I were inspired, or just do nothing except maybe go for a walk, watch something online, and hope sleep takes me sooner that way. It seems actually like the smarter thing would be the later option.

        I also wonder after the increase in direction I felt after jogging, if we do all have an internal compass or source of direction for contributing the most good to the world, even if it doesn’t fall within one of the few categories that exist for that right now. I mean, I guess there are some people who don’t really give it too much thought as to what they want to do, they just already know and it already exists as a category for them to fall into. However, for others I feel it is not at all that simple. I mean, I wonder if it is actually extremely simple, but just lacking social support.

For example, the way I feel I would be heading if I kept jogging and kept improving in mood would be I guess focusing on finding more and even high level forms of fun/spiritual development. Such as story writing, music, philosophy and psychology study, game design(not video game necessarily), ect. I would be focused on that, not on how to “make a living” or how to “support myself”. You see, I’m not here to prove I can support myself. While it is good to have a part time job or two going while I’m in school, if I don’t have to support myself yet, why would I build an empire around that which distracts me from doing what I feel is closer to my authentic productive drives. I mean I hope what I do helps people enough that they pay me, but more importantly I want to do what is the truest expression of me as a life.


%d bloggers like this: