Indie game lifestyle

I took b6 200mg and a large capsule of omega 3, I feel so good approximately 3 hrs later even though technically I am coming down with something.

Here are my thoughts after a lot of thinking. Point form baby…only till it’s not…

If I were to focus on sex, I would say I should make money to get my own place to have sex in all the time.

If I wanted money I would have to find the things I’m good at or that will most efficiently get me that money.

For me I am best at the things I enjoy.

I realize then that these things would be things like artsy musicky stuff, and ideas and philosophical stuff.

Beyond that, just being around people who like to think about interesting things get’s me fired up and passionate.

Like a muse.

Many people in interesting yet technical areas (the areas where it’s easiest to make money it seems), are cool with working alone.

I feel one of my strengths is being able to work with other people and add ideas etc, to whatever the project, I kind of mold to fit, as long as it’s interesting.

Well, society, as far as the image I’ve been getting, in most technical industries, does not prize this thing that I’m so good at. How could they, if they are the leaders, if they call the shots. How could they want someone who is the shot-caller as far as ideas is concered.

So it could be that the thing I need to focus on producing is a way to get to share my ideas with the people I like doing so with, without all this red tape.

So how would I go about doing that?

Well, I’m willing to work for free, just to meet those people, assuming it will be fun enough.

I’m willing because I’m willing to but the idea of money and sex on the back burner for how ever long it takes to get this part of my life sorted out, to the point where people do appreciate what I have to offer.

Basically I will be selling myself.

SO what area would I work in exactly, where I meet these people, and do these primarily sexless activities, u don’t ask?
(or maybe you do….hm)

Well, it would be in areas I enjoy working in and with people I like.

Now I’ve thought long and hard about so many areas I enjoy, music, art, acting,stories,poetry,film,philosophy…
These are all well and good, I will come back to why they are not enough in a second.

Some how I ended up shifting my focus to what technical stuff I could possibly do by myself. I realized though that even if there were such a thing, it would probably not be something we have now. What I mean is, as a kid, breaking open a computer to see how it worked would have been magical. Now though, I would need something bigger. So big, that no one can offer it too me. However, if you think about it, through my own thinking, I offer it to myself, and hopefully, to some of you.

Back to the many other areas I enjoy. I left one out intentionally, one that came to me as I shat. As I shat, or maybe I was already finished I can’t remember it was a blur, I thought of something fun I could do. I could make a youtube video of me reading a book in the dark with a light. Just have a flash light going over the words. It would be like if we were kids and didn’t want our parents to know we were still up, but I could also have cool resident evil music playing with it

Then I said, what if I made it a gameboy color playing pokemon yellow, and at intervals, you hear footsteps like my parent was coming so I had to turn off the light and turn down the volume, etc.

Then I realized, I was making a game. Games seem to be able to incorporate most other fun things somehow which is very interesting. It almost makes games a higher order form of entertainment.

Not only that, but I feel like what we are all searching for in life, or at least me, is more fun things. I want my job to be a fun thing. Well, in focusing on ways to make my life fun, focusing on my health so I’m happier, etc, I have been in effect gamifying my life. However, un-like most people who can just go out and that is fun, for me, I have kind of bee expecting to find a way of making my whole life feel like a game.

I must admit, the biggest thing in that regard I think is health. If u are super healthy, just below euphoric, all the shit about what to do with your life, stops being so frustrating and becomes something fun to work towards. Like a game.

So this makes me think that if I have been trying to make my whole life a game already, I should be able to create games on levels below that, and enjoy those. In effect turning my life into a bunch of mini games that I make and subsequently play or at least share with others to play. Mean while all this will be going on with the overarching theme of a big game, as long as I remember that health is important, as well as the way we look at life.

I will want to work with other people as soon as possible. However, especially because I need to test my level of commitment to this path, it might be cool to try making original game concepts on my own, maybe just sharing them though so I don’t become anti-social.

I wouldn’t just be making games that are for the computer though, although there are some I think would be cool. I really would love it if I could make games that are played in the real world somehow.

Also it’s interesting that the most likes I have for anything on youtube is not based on any of my over 100 videos, but it is…well there is one comment about going to another country that somehow got lot’s of attention, but which didn’t happen. Then there is a comment where I share my idea for adding a game feature to youtube. This comment still has replies coming, 8 months later.

I also find it interesting because the human drive for pleasure may be the greatest of all, iunno, and gaming seems to be the biggest source of it for many people, but it needs some fresh perspective.

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Games as Metaphor

So I have talked a lot about what is now becoming a philosophy of human development. The idea that the human mind is becoming more metaphorical as it develops. Maybe it’s like some form of high level processing because it seems present in way more areas than just creative writing. It seems like it has developed as a cognitive process that in some areas overlaps reality to aid learning. For example, as my last post said, you can learn about compassion through fictional characters. In fact, it seems like as more and more fiction and metaphorical uses of historical ideas are adopted into society, well it only makes sense that at least our language would become more colored with these abstractions.

Anyways, games. If we look at how games have evolved, we can see how important metaphor is becoming. MMOs that adopt fictional/historical/ect ideas to create another world, give people the opportunity to play roles they wouldn’t otherwise have played, and also I think these are roles that have never been played as deeply as they are being played at this current time. See MMOs now, like World of Warcraft and Eve Online, allow us to be politicians, warriors, ect, and along with others, we get to play out these roles in real time in one long story that may last years.  This was never possible to this extent, ever in history I believe.
The significance of this to me is that we have become more open and more able to adopt/use metaphor as a tool for our own growth. We become soldiers and politicians, and learn how to function as such and as we do this and come upon challenges, the reward centers of our brains are activated. We are rewarded for our achievements and personal developments that we would have been far less motivated to even work towards without the use of metaphor!!! What this says to me is that humans are using metaphor to drive evolution. Metaphor has become like a spring board for growth. Meaning humans in a way no longer gain meaning from the natural world, but now some gain it from a hybrid of natural world and symbolic world. The symbolic/fictional/metaphorical world actually becomes real in the way that in these circumstances, development is dependent on it.

And why are games often so much easier to get into than real life challenges? Well games are designed to help a person develop by giving them feedback, socialization, roles,challenges that match skill level, ect that drive their motivation and improvement. It seems we are learning how to drive our own evolution and that we find it very enjoyable.

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