Sustainable Life: What do we know about freedom?

What does freedom mean to you. Ultimate freedom. Locke argues that the natural state of man was one were he was free to do what he wanted. That SOCIETY being created, robbed or forced the sacrifice of this freedom. However, do we really want freedom. Would you chose freedom if it meant being alone? because what do other people have to do with YOUR freedom? so maybe freedom is not as simple as doing what ever we want. If we like people, then our freedom is kind of reliant on what they like as well. I mean if we are connect with them in a positive way. It seems to me that freedom is not that ONE DIMENSIONAL. Freedom is not based on the needs of the individual. Instead it is a composite of that individual and all the people he/she connects with.

Anyways, it makes me think to the celestine prophecy. Like, maybe the connections were not a prophecy of the internet. Maybe it was something IRL that people are just not getting into yet.

Also it could just be a case of follow your needs, were I need more irl company than others so I should just go get it.

Anyways, if we were to look at the world as made up of different dimentions. Or look at the human experience as composed of different dimentions, I would say that with the internet we are mostly stuck on the data dimention butwe need to move on to a more real dimention and then even a hyper real dimention.

By this I mean, There is the irl individual reality. This is composed of the experiences you cna have on your own through interactions with the physical world including man made structures, just not interacting with
people in a two way connection.

Then there is the internet and by this I also mean everything except actually communication with people as it, getting to know them and feeling a two way connection. Even movies and youtube vids would go here. Anything that is not two way communication WITH a sense of real connection.

Then there is the dimention of connection. This is the area I think will become more important in the future but for the moment is be diregarded as people seek to self-actualize (which can actually be impeded if you
are aorund the wrong people, or maybe even the right people at the wrong
time).

I feel like it is important to be able to be in a state of happiness while with people and while alone. I had to FREE myself from a lot of mindset issues and health issues that were holding me back from basic freedom. The freedom to just feel good inside. I mean I usually feel good in genera, but not in a free way. I used to feel good because I had goals that once accomplished, would allow become to feel good about myself and therefore free. Now I just feel good because I’ve figured out why I should just feel good. However, as I learn how to do this I think, what’s next. I just feel like there is more I should be doing than just feeling good, more I want to do. I mean that inspiration has to go somewhere.

So I have feeling good and being inspired + meeting people I can connect with

Connect with on the cool things we are inspired by that is.

So it seems like I’m more interested now, it actually bringing in cool people into my life. I’m not thinking about trying to get sex. I’m not thinking about trying to meet “better” people, to rid myself of the ones I know, ect. I just feel like meeting people, new and old, is the other half of what life is about.

Connecting with yourself is one half
Connecting with others, is the other half.

Meeting someone new can be a very magical experience if you are really in-sync. The conversation will flow and everyone will get to say what they feel is important to say. I guess the only important thing to look out for here is, are you focusing on saying things to prove what you know, to gain respect, admiration, or even understanding? R you speaking to get something out of this? See sometimes I will be talking to someone and it will seem like I will through at them all the cool stuff I know and they will just not think too much of it.

could share my music with someone and the will just go hm that’s nice. Well , what was going on there. Aso, why do I feel it’s so important to share my own stuff with the person, is there any other way of going about this?

Answers:
I noticed with one good friend of mine, when we hung out, we weren’t as focused on waiting for out chance to speak. Instead we were trying to get more from the other person. I feel things run more smoothly this way. If we try to find what is interesting about each other instead of trying to show off what is interesting about ourselves. Not to mention it’s just good conversation skills. Also another way of looking at this is as a shared experience. Two people coming together to share the experience of the connection, and grow it stronger. Also It’s not about showing ourselves off to one another unless curiosity leads to the questions I described.
It’s about together experiencing LIFE together. So there is freedom where you experience whatever you want, but on your own. Then there is shared freedom, where people experience the overlapping of interests of life together. I feel we are in much need of the second one.

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ENTP(or atleast me): Passion for working with/for others (LONG POST) (Basically about muses as the end goal)

Another possiblity, is that I keep looking at all the fun people on youtube, thinking I want to be a part of it, but the reality is I just want friends to do cool shit with? It seems like sure I have things I would want to produce, but it seems I’m more interested in just making connections with people, than trying to create a business. I mean if a business comes out of it that’s great and maybe even ideal, however, I think not having enough people to connect with is a bigger problem than not having a business.

Freedom for me means being able to do the shit I want to do. Most of the shit I want to do involves hanging out with and connecting with cool people, not nessesarily making a name for myself on youtube. The youtube thing seems almost like just a form of compensating for not having enough people to talk to. This doesn’t work out to well
because I don’t have any passion for making videos, at least not enough to bother putting the time in.

I think I’ve gotten past the whole wanting to be something. I realize I just want to be happy and grow and trying to be someone actually just goes against that. So what goes with it? I think focusing on connecting with people, might go with it. If I look back on child hood, sure I did stuff when I was alone like think about interesting movie ideas ect. However, it wasn’t like I thought about them as something I nessesarily wanted to create. It’s more like I created them in my head and just enjoyed them.

The main thing I though about was when I would be able to see my friends again and make new friends. That was my big adventure. So iunno, maybe it is again, and this time, without shame of wanting to make the friends. However, what sucks is wanting friends but without the hobbies in common to get a friendship started. However, I think it’s more like I have many many interests and I just pursue them based on who my friends are.

I feel strong inspiration to pursue goals based on friends of mine or people I meet who also do them. I mean, for some people the hobbie or goal is serious for it’s own sake. For me, it seems more like my goals are based on the friends who will appreciate them. Basically, and I can say this unashamedly now, I think I need a muse/muses in order for me to turn into a real workhorse. Basically, I don’t work for money. I work for people. Maybe it’s the same way as who they say ENTPs need to find their place among people, not beaurocracy. We don’t care about social hierarcy and that includes money and fame. We care about friends.

Another thing is maybe another reason I find it hard to work on certain projects is because with no one to share my progress with, it’s like the fun is taken out of it. I mean sure when I achieve such and such a goal after years of work, people may flock to see it and then I may attract the right people? Iunno, maybe not. It seems like if certain people would only talk to me once I am “cool” or “good at something”, those probably arn’t real friends. I feel like I have enough to offer just being myself, and shouldn’t have to work to prove that I can do such and such on my own.

I realize, I don’t really want to be “successful” in the way people see it. An “independant self-made man” I mean, all that stuff, I can imagine it being really nice, but then when I actually wor towards it it’s hard. It’s not hard because I’m weak. I’m not weak. It’s hard because I don’t really want it. I don’t want a life of working on my own on stuff so I can be recognized as something special and powerful ect. I want a life of love and passion and friendship.

So now I think I might be ready to do two things:

1. One is to put more effort into getting involved in stuff other maybe more “independant
workers” have started that I think are cool, and contribute and make friends.

2. Then contribute to those friends with ideas of what else we could do, as the ideas
come to me, but tring to be able to finish or else not even start.

3.Also work on my own shit and focus on building habits and finishing.

Basically, it’s ok to work on my own shit, whatever that is, as long as I’m not expecting that shit to attract friends to me. That is the wrong way to look at it because it means you have to be something in order to be worthy as a friend. No, the friends will be made by contributing to other peoples visions which you agree enough with (and maybe adding a bit of your on vision in there).

hmmm.

So 3 things.(reiteration lol)

1. Join groups (like in elementary school) and contribute and make friends (gain love)

2. Do hobbies and focus on habit and finnishing and own expression (create love)
I create the love out of my own passion, just that I need to work on making friends at the same time or else my body will feel the sense of neglect and make it harder for me to create more love. It’s not that I wont have the energy, it’s that I am naturally distracted by the fact that I’m neglecting another passion I have, the passion for people, in order to do some hobby when I really want to be around people. Basically, punishing myself into working on a hobby when I really need more socia growth.

3. Share hobbies especially finnished projects, and ideas, with friends (Share love)

Scary to me is the thought that all the discipline for working on goals by myself
might come undone and I’ll just want to hang out with friends, which could lead
to them losing respect for me and then me struggling to get back on working hard on goals. Howver, it’s not that simple I guess. I mean, I can still form habits. Actually, I still NEED to form proper habits, for working on cool shit, in order to thrive. It’s just that I also need/desire to have friends to connect with and without those I will be living an incomplete lifestyle.

So I probably need at least a few people to be as extroverted as me and who can connect about the shit I think is cool. I guess I’ve been scared of letting people into my life who will not actually appreciate me for what I bring to the table. I may not care about recognition in the general sense, and I may not go seeking it. However, if someone is to be close to me, they need to connect with me in that they see and appreciate what I bring to the table.

See I’ll be far more regular in bringing it to the table if it’s with someone who appreciates it. However, if around someone who doesn’t, I might just feel like retreating into my room or trying to prove myself, which I don’t think I should have to do. So, yes I’m independant. I’m independant in that I have no problem doing whatever it takes to meet people I can connect with. Not only that, but I have high standards and would rather be alone than with someone I don’t feel the right connnection with.

Also it’s possible that going on family trips being close proximity with family for the car ride and hotel sleeping ect, boosts my energy. I often feel more creative in those situations. It’s like my brain starts telling me I have something to offer to these people now that I’m close to them (physcially and emotionally) and so I gain motivation.

So if my passion is contributing to people I’m close with then it makes sense that I should focus on building relationships with people. It’s weird that the media has a skewed the understanding of the importance of relationships, or at least they don’t know how wrong that information can be interpreted by someone who is going through what I was. Relationships are important if they are your strongest motivator, and if that’s the case, you should make peace with that so you can see what you really want in life.

Also when it comes to finding the right friends, when I was younger I had it wrong
because I focused on who looked “cool” and who acted “cool”. However, most of the people
who looked and acted really “cool”, it was because that was their focus. Therefore they
aren’t the people I’d connect with, cause although I appreciate that they look “cool”,
my focus is else where. I guess I assumed “cool” looking/dressing/acting people were
smarter ect, but reality is not that way and I was mislead.

This caused me a lot of rejection in child hood and a lot of me rejecting the people
who would actually have been better for me. This same thing works for girls too actually. The girls who are super into looks are mostly not girls I need to be talking to. Anyways, I just thought about this cause if I want to make friends who connect with me, well I was thinking, what has been keeping me from this all along, and so I realize it was me being disillusioned. So now I know who I connect with and who is good so I will able to just connect with them.

Freedom for me isn’t about not needing friendships to be productive. Freedom for me being able to find the friends I enjoy productive with and/or showing my products to.

SJ Problems: Guy at A Starbucks Told Me to Put my foot down!

After a 4 hr shift on a foot with plantar fascistic and after doing dead lifts at the gym an hour earlier, I decided I didn’t want to go home right away. I thought I’d go to the starbuck’s in the same mall and use the internet there. I had just had a big revelation today and I wanted to indulge in it online. I have varicose veins in my leg which were exacerbated by the standing at work after the dead lifts. My left leg to be specific, so what I do in this situation is sit with my left leg bend and the foot on the same chair I’m sitting on, like, tucked into my crotch I guess you could say, but the heel down. Only my sock because the shoe would have meant too high a foot hold, and shoes are dirty.

Well, an hour into my foray, I am interutped by a guy, probably younger than me, who decided it was his job to tell me to foot my foot down. He just said it so off-handly too, like I should know better. I looked at him up and down, realized he was not wearing a uniform. He does not appear to work at the starbucks. I think I asked him to repeat his request, and I made sure to give him the look that while smiling, meant, why would you think this is ok. Then I asked him if he worked there. He said yes. …, I didn’t believe him, so I asked, “where?” which could have meant “at the starbucks or the book store it was a part of?” or it could have meant, “where in the mall”, if he assumed I was asking him if he worked in the whole mall. Either way, his response was, “look man, just from person to person (95% sure he was not employed there) it’s indecent for you to have your foot on their like that, people sit there.”

Well, I decided I would let him have the win, as he was at least… I don’t even know. I’d like to say curious but…

I went up to his table a minute or two later and explained why I was doing that. I asked him, if he had a better idea. I don’t know why I went this way with things, just playing into his hands in that he feels he has this authority. Well his response, while nicely put, was basically that I should go home. I ended it there.

I think as an extrovert, and with Fe, sometimes I just want to keep harmony socially, although I can be a rebel when it suits me, at that moment I just wasn’t in that state of mind. Although now, now I am.

Anyways, the story isn’t quite over.

He finishes his meal and I await his final thoughts as people are predictable that way. I pretend I’m reading and as he walks past he says, hey it’s nothing personal I just think a lot of people are not respecting each other. I thought, hmmm, esfj? and I thought I believed him about it being not personal. I responded that I was still thinking critically about what he had said. He seemed surprised to hear that for some reason. Obviously I haven’t decided he was right, are you kidding. He said he sees it all the time on the bus ect and that he’s not some “social defender” which is a word I have not heard, but that he just doesn’t think it’s right. I mentioned that he also didn’t know where my pants had been that day which he laughed and seemed to think about, but said he knows he just thinks the foot thing is disrespectful. He said he was sorry about my leg and hopes it gets better, to which I respond by showing him I had positioned it on top of my other shoe as a pitiful attempt to abide by his rules. Must have been high from all the walking at work.

He seemed pleased, we exchanged names, I invited him to sit because I still wondered if he was an esfj which is a type I’m kind of fond of for some reason. He declined. Shook my hand tightly and when I tightened my grip in response he quickly released with a bit of a flick to his wrist as well. hmm, probably estj.

My analysis and comments now:

Although he was offended by me having my foot on my chair, that doesn’t really reflect any wrong doing on my part, beyond offending him. Beyond that, he has invaded my life to tell me to either position myself in a way that is not healthy, or to leave the store that is a public place in a free country. A free country! Oh how the high horse doth chafe! I felt my freedom being threatened by this guy honestly. That’s always how it feels when an ESTJs, just comes on the scene trying to control their environment.

He says it isn’t personal, but when a white guy tells a black guy what to do in a room full not black guys, and comments on how he sees people doing said thing, but never mentions doing anything about it, except with said black guy, well I wont say it’s personal, because I don’t take things personal especially with people who I don’t even know, but it’s questionable. Not only that, but in society, for someone to decide it’s ok for them to order someone else around just out of the blue, with no professional capacity to do so, is harassment, plain and simple, and if he was speaking to someone less stable, things could have taken a different turn, but I guess he saw I was dressed nice. If he had a problem he actually should have spoken to the store owners and let them make the decision.

I know I could have just said f-off, right away, but I didn’t feel like it. For one, I felt if he had the balls to talk to the store owners they actually might have taken his side for whatever reason(which actually I could handle, and shouldn’t have avoided). Not only that, but  didn’t want to disturb the harmony, I was just in that mood where I wanted to be the good guy, not make an enemy.

I just realized, he didn’t shake my hand at the end because he liked me. More so because I did what he said. My goal for next time, will be either for the offender to shake my hand because won him over with my charisma or I made him see things my way, or for him/(or her actually) to realize I have needs as well.

 

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