Si and imaginative memory

I checked out some deviant art pics, and saw some really cool fractal art and I tried imagining I was in the picture and realized, like when I was a kid, I can still do this to some degree. The result is an actual feeling, a feeling of being present physically, in that space.

I thought about how fractals could be more Ne depending on how novel the specific fractal was, but maybe the feelings of color, space, structure etc could be Si?

Well, I definitely want to pay more attention to both my imagination, and the imaginations of others. So the periods of relief from boredom maybe should have lot’s of music and art as their focus. (if I do a hermetic process of periods of boredom and then fun)

Being able to go into a picture like that, and enjoy it so deeply. It makes me wonder if maybe that is what people should be learning how to do more of, instead of trying to create the physical products. I just wonder, what would the results be, of focused imagining.

Another thing is that power of psychadelics as I hear it described seems to remind of of things that improve Si. Hallucinations, emotional centering, reduced depression that last well after the drug is taken, for example.

Also in terms of building an ISTJ like memory power, if even possible, being able to put oneself into the scene of a mnemonic story or image, meaning see the scene as if you are there, is probably the thing needed.

This allows a few things I can think of.

1. It means you get to immerse in something that is (hopefully) exciting and intriguing so that you are gaining experiences that you could not have without this imagining. Ne

2. Since you are sensing the scene, from inside your mind, I guess this means you are using Si? So is this kind of like a Ne-Si connection. Also is it like a substitute for dreaming.

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Aesthetic Appreciation and Sex Drive

First I’m gonna through some links at ya…:

This is where some guys describe how they are more sensitive to music after ejaculation: http://www.quora.com/Why-do-I-become-very-sensitive-to-music-right-after-I-ejaculate

This is an article about how artists have more sexual partners and that the number of partners is positively correlated to how seriously they pursue their artistic direction:http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/does-creativity-depend-on-raging-hormones-520787.html

Here is another about musical appreciation after ejaculation: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140327134618AAFBkwt

Now, what I want to discuss may not be so clear from these links because it is related to something I’ve realized while doing this NoFap thing. It is that when I am masturbating normally, I am more musical, or so it seems. I started creating music again with a vengeance after I started masturbating again after a 2 year celibacy/nofap period. During the no fap period I don’t recall creating any music. As well, now that I have started another round of nofap I find myself becoming less interested in making music…but that could just be coincidental and it’s probably too soon to say.

However, what I think could be said, is that while on nofap I become more fashion conscious. Beyond that I feel I become more aware of visual aesthetics in general, at lease when it comes to women, but I think just generally.

Let me throw this philosophical link at ya, which talks about nietzshe describes a subconscious will made up of sex drive and artistic desire which he believes has the power to transform a person, society, world,etc: http://artintelligence.net/review/?p=824

I wonder about this. How important aesthetics are. I know I value beauty highly. The thing is, there seems to be this attitude among lot’s of people that beauty is just a luxury. However, I believe it is far more than that. Not just because of passion, or psychosomatic effects, but for abstract, algorithmic secrets that beauty holds which even if we only sense in what seems to be a primitive appreciation, is actually a path we can follow to new ways of being.

Now for some reflection:

For a long time I have thought, if I’m going to dress really cool, like a video game character level of cool, then shouldn’t I also be doing video game level stuff, like action packed saving the world type stuff? Otherwise it’s like all bark and no bite. Flashy but ineffective. Etc.

Now though what I realize is that to create beauty, you have to have power already, which everyone does, it’s personal power we all have. We have power, to express our beauty. So Beauty implies power. However, power does not imply beauty, at least in the terms people think of power to be, such as nuclear arms, money, etc. Although if we later realize that beauty is the true source of happiness, even in some abstract way, then we can maybe say the nuclear arms and money are actually not power at all if they are used by someone who doesn’t want to create and express beauty, because they are dis-empowered in not wanting to do so.

Anyways, what I think now, is that we need to be our own type of hero, not the type people make action films about, unless that need actually arises in your life. The type of hero I feel is needed in mine is the type that is authentic in their appreciation of beauty, and works to build that through their lifestyle, and grow in powers of expressing that into their world to the benefit of them and everyone else who can appreciate it.

aesthetics and diagrams, obfuscation and fun

Based on the half dream I’ve been having for the last
few hours where I’ve somehow been mulling over the idea of
creating art out of a learning experience.

I remember one part where I had created a website? or maybe
more of a digital art collage? but with parts you could
click on to make things happen.

It was very intersting and beautiful, and seemed to be filled
with images that were symbolic of concepts and were connected
together. SO it was kind of like an artistic diagram.

I think it was a lot of electronic concepts actually…but maybe
other things as well.

Also my music “what age means” was playing along with it.
I either was displaying it to others, or imagining the time when
I might do so, and it was inspiring.

Now that I’m awake I find a paralell to the way I’v been trying to
learn hanzi which is that I’ve been making diagrams that show the
connections, and I plan to use a ruler to make even neater looking
diagrams as they actually seem like the most beautiful thing in
my journal.

Also the diagram was almost like a game, or a movie, I remember,
like it was fun and an experience. That would be good for
a method of study. To create something I enjoy re-experiencing.

I enjoy reexperiencing my music, that’s for sure.

This is interesting though, because it’s like I got a glimse
of a possibility, one that could be revolutionary in learning and
art and I guess in my life, and now I can try working backwards to figure
out how to get there.

So, if I want to create an experience I’d enjoy again, well what seemed
to really help in the dream was that the music went directly with the
images…so I guess it was animation…so like, like amvs??!!

That could be awesome, because I enjoy watching my amvs repeatedly!

Poetry was like…one level above simple diagrams, in the artistic sense,
but I struggled to make them fun to recite as they seemed devoid of
artistic expression.

It could be that my artistic expression is more logical and so creating
stories and poetry that don’t express logical things, things worth
understanding, it ends up being not relevant or meaningful to me.

So maybe, like the hanzi diagrams, it would be better to focus on
making the method of diagraming, more beautiful, instead of
obfuscating the knowledge with art. So, using art in a way that
enhances understanding instead of the opposite.

So for example, the pie chart, could be seen as a form of aesthetics
simply because it’s a way of symbolizing something visually that is
more EFFICIENT(as efficiency and beauty are related).

rhyme works, when linking relevant facts together. However, rhyme that
links facts together but through adding in irrelevant untasteful information
, might not be as beautiful.

animation works well because it is a way of visualizing something that
otherwise wouldn’t be visualized. Along with sound effects, music,
and art in the drawing of symbolic images, it because very aestehtically
pleasing, some times even creating a whole other world around the
concept when the animation, sound fx ect come together well enough. Then
there is no need for extra irrelevant information.

This can be seen as an ENTP goal actually. By that I mean, it could
be a thing that all entps are built to do somehow, or that is on of their
highest forms of self expression. For example, Steve jobs revolution
of Apple, and pixar, was at is base, about this. Adding aesthetics
to the expression of information.

Leonardo Da Vinci was also about this, or at least his drawings
of inventions in his notebooks etc, and the way he painted, it was
conveying information in the most effective way possible.

It could be why I like electronics more than programming…because I
get to see more diagrams in electronics. Even the actually creation
of deviced, involves wiring connections together between different
components.

Maybe if programming could be done in this wayWow, with code blocks
connected together. Even parts of algorithms should be visualized
as components. Actually, even math itself could be visualized as
being made up of components. Even philosophy could be.

Wow, I learned so much by going to bed early…enough that I woke up
3 hours in to write all this.

When I look at the diagrams in my hanzi journal, they just seem like
…like expensive. Like the most expensive thing in my journal, the
most significant. (also it’s the only thing written in pen lol, but
still.

So maybe, to me, I enjoy the expression of connectedness, or at
least I am more sensitive to it, than most people, and so it is
art, and beautiful, to me.

So maybe I can enjoy learning anything, if I can just express the
connections between things within and between feilds in the most
effiecient way possible.

This is a new form of communication so I wonder if it could
become it’s own language somehow lol.

As I searched for the word “obfuscated” I came across the
international obfuscated c contest. It’s so cool. It actually
would make programming fun…For one thing it is actually comical
in a way that is smart so it’s like…a new and maybe improve form of
comedy. Second it’s so creative and it’s a creativity for the
purpose of entertainment, and possible even just fulfillment in
ones ability to create something so crazy.

It’s weird that so many programmers seem so passionate about just
creating things that are functional. I feel like obfuscated c is
way more fun and maybe even a better learning experience, beyond when
you want/need to know something. I’ve searched programming poetry
before and while the philosophy was cool sometimes, the actually idea
of doing it was not. It seemed like it would just take energy away from
me. It didn’t present a specific challenge where I would gain energy and be
inspired by, but instead it seemed draining as poetry without reason
often seems draining.

Obfuscated c on the other hand is like, purposely doing meaninglessly complex
stuff. It is actually like a skill that you can develope and it’s
actually comical and fun.

It’s almost like an attack on the standardization of programming,
and for me just the irrelevance of programming to my life.

I mean, the dullest thing I’ve learned so far is making data based
for websites. However, if I gave myself permission to create the
most messed up databases, maybe I could actually enjoy
the learning process at least.

Really what obfuscated c seems to do is it opens my mind to creative
possibilities without limiting it to things that are needed by the
real world or following real world standards of efficiency. Basically
it brings the imagination back into the equation where otherwise I
would always be depending on someone else’s idea of how things should
be done. Now the whole goal of programming is to do things the way
they “shouldn’t be done” which means I can use every possible peice
of information and weave it all into doing something the wrong way,
because the wrong way, becomes right.

Why is the wrong way fun? So I think it’s because it’s not limited to
someone else’s methodology for one, but for two it’s because it depends
on you ….

just wow…I mean I wish I had thought of that earlier, like, instead
of learning from books, I could just do things the wrong way on purpose,
trying to see how wrong I could do it.

So theses are two ways of learning. One is using art to communicate
ideas more efficiently and it will be beautiful. The other is to
use ideas in the least efficient way on purpose, and using
creativity to make them the most ineffiecent, and this will
be comical.

Actually, obfuscated c reminds me of how I play mtg. I try to pick really
weird cards or combinations and make them work. So when I do this,
the game becomes about my deck making ability as much as my play
ability. I don’t do it in a funny way nessesarily, but more like a way
to challenge myself. I guess it helps that mtg is social, but still I
wonder if I could do the same with obfuscated c. Instead of going for
comical, go for something different that expresses me. Like how I go
for making music that is more obscure sounding. I can express myself in
code by my choices of what tools to use for a specific job, instead of
going for the tools recommended. In this way I also would be making
mini challenges like, “do this part without using printf” etc.

I wonder though, because this seems more social than more art related
things…

Well also I guess it’s just that, duh the right or best way of doing things
is often not that hard to figure out. It’s not as challenging, at least
for my style which looks for more possibilities, as trying to make
somethign more “interesting”.

So really it’s not about it being “detail oriented”, it’s about
it being to common knowledge…I like exploring what is possible,
and the way to do that in programming, at least until I reach some
master level where I just know how things should be done better than
anyone else, unless/until that happens it’s best to flex my creative
muscles through obfuscation and doing things in different ways
regardless of what is more efficietn, but just focusing on what could
actually be possible outside of how things are usually done.

So for things based on logic such as strategy games, programming etc,
artistic expression seems to come through individual choice in how to
do things. So it’s best to give ourselves permission to do things
in whatever new and creative ways we want in order to express ourselves.

In music and other fine arts this plays a role, but also individual
tastes like musical tastes, play a big role.

In things like physical labour, artistic expression seems to come
, at least for me, from a combination of pure physical intensity, and
creative efficiency of momevement.

Now, artistic expression in the actual learning process, that seems to
be more about just the way the information is laid out.

Actually the idea of obfuscation can be applied in many interesting
ways it’s so cool that I just found this through googling and that
google autocorrecting to the “ed” ending helped me get there.

I could make a store, that is made of CSRs who standing in formations
to create iles etc.

I could also make a store where everything is just drawn in the snow
but have security gaurds protecting it, being really serious.

JUst taking a goal, and finding very weird ways of accomplishing that
goal. That is one power I have that most people don’t and that people
will probbaly find very useful or at least entertaining.

If I want adventure, that is one really good way of getting it.
I feel like that is the kind of thing I would do in video games
but should also do in real life more. STYLE! Cool style!

Also, to obfuscate can mean, to make dark/(er). So in a way it is
gothic. It is venturing out into the unknown, the unbeaten path,
the mysterious, and expressing that, maybe in a way becoming that.

I have two things now to think about. Perposeful obfuscation,
and aesthetics diagraming. Both are interesting and seem fun.
One seems more fun in the moment though and more connected to
doing. Although, AH, I could use obfuscation in my creation of
diagrams maybe…but not in a way that adds irrelevant info, just
that that form of organiziation could be more obfuscated.

Meaning you might have to work harder to extract the meaning,
but it would be interestin to create, and could lead to
actually innovation in creatin diagrams. IUnno.

Brings me to think of entps as dancing with death but maybe more
accuratly, with darkness, as we search the darkness, the unknown, through
ourselves, for new possibilities, where as most people are content to
just use what is known and there already.

Keep a beautiful journal in Chinese (Power of Aesthetics)

I stumbled on some motivational tips in a scientific america magazin
which initiated some pondering, which resulted in some ideas about what
I might enjoy doing in Chinese.

namingly, writing in a cool ass journal.
This journal has to be cool, and look cool, etc, as this will be part
of what motivates me to write in it.

Also the fact that I be able to show anyone who reads it, “this is the chinese
I know” etc, would mean everytime I write I get an instant sense of
being more chinese and that I am making visual accomplishments.

Also, the more I write in it, the more valuable it will become, especially
if I write observations about my day, or notes about myself.

I just hope I can learn enough through using it, instead of an Srs.
I mean, I hope I will memorize enough.

I plan is to make it like a TAG style Journal where I have a set of questions
that I answer every day for a week or so, then next week I will have another
set.

For each day I write, I’ll first write out the question, before answering
it so I at least get practise writing and comprehending the questions
I write out.

Also this structure means less burden on me to come up with things to
say on the spot when I write. It makes it more of a task based thing.

Although I can still write stuff afterwards for fun.

I also like this because it allows the artistin me to come out in a more
passive but stll rewarding way.

Just like when someone was asked how to turn toasting bread into a game
someone would want to play. The first thought was, make the toast “cute”.
Aesthetics seem to actually be that important.

I mean yeah you can see businesses where people stay on websites or
in stores or whatever based on beautiful or user freindly it is.
What I’m discussing here though is like, can you make doing homework,
more fun than going to a party, through proper use of aesthetics?
I hope to prove this to be the case.

Aesthetics seem to have the ability to add meaning to something.
Would samurias be as romantizised if their swords and armor didn’t look
beautiful. Probably not. Aesthetics might actually hold a huge amount
of power that we can use to our advantage by weighting our tasks
with aesthetic appeal so that the most important task, is made to be
the most beautiful,(and I guess most personalized (like adding your
own touches to the stuff you beautify)) so that they draw you in the
most.

I mean, Chinese drew me in because of it’s beauty.

That is also another thing. It would suck if liking chinese so much, I
didn’t allow myself to write in it and own my writing.

Also those writing prompts could even evolve into a game that
I could play with others. Like, everyone getting the same question
and having to answer in just a few words, but getting lot’s of comprehension
from the reading, etc.

Also, notebooks have way more context than srs cards, and after a few
reviews you will have the connections of a whole page for each page of study
instead of just one card.

Also, I will be able to draw on previous pages in future writings allowing
me to use more and better language the more I keep at it.

I went for a jog today, and after work as well, I was feeling pretty motivated.
I’m just waiting till tmr, though because I want to by nice notebook, probably
from coles/indigo

“following a formula get’s old fast”.
How about I decide each day what I’m going to write but I need to
write a minimum of 50 words plus reading a number of previous pages
chinese first just to see how much has stuck. Once it’s allo stuck I
leave it for a random review which I could even schedule as a day where
I pickĀ  few pages at random to review.

Aesthetics and Evolution

Well I spent most of today again thinking about what I might want
to do. Like, what I might want to strive towards in life, beyond
the basic ideas like helping others, improving, etc.

I did some research on the development of Fe which led me to
people saying it was about thinking more about others and wanting
to help them more, or something?

I thought maybe this could mean like, career goals would change
depending on hwo developed Fe was, which mine is developed strongly.

Btw, I might have been a tech nerd had it not been for parents gettng
a computer late (lack of funds lol) and schools not understanding me,
plus the way math is taught, yuck lol.

Although as I think about it, I was always more drawn to arts.

I also thought more about me, an my own evolution, and
how best to go about getting there.

I watched some teal swan stuff and in comments I checked out some of
the users and they often had liked some of the same vids as me.
One was a song by freddy and graffix called major happy. As I listened
to it I remembered how much I like landscapes.

I remembered ATB – The feilds of love, which has a music video with
even more of that beautiful landscape, and a few years ago I had a
fantasy about building an aircraft and flying away towards such
things.

I realized beauty is still a huge passion of mine.
I remembered my first girlfriend and how that relationship was
based on our shared passion for all sorts of beauty. We were in
high school and some of wat we were studying back then was interesting,
but if I recall correctly, beauty was our focus then, and I was
very happy.

So part of me wonders what art and beauty do to the mind, which is
I guess where my scientific side will stay active. Wondering about these
things, and what we can do to improve ourlives and evolve.

I think about the fact that eventually we wont have to work as much. I
mean, as people are replaced by computers etc. Iunno, maybe it wont
happen that way, or at least it wont be for a long time.

However, what it made me think about was the celestine prophecy(which my
first gf gave me lol) where beauty which turned into love, was the thing
that was thought to be paramount in a post scarcity post worker society.

So it makes me think…that is when art forms and beauty would become
more important.

As well, I feel like, if people started, not forcing, but advertising
their art more, they would be advertising the idea of art, as well
as sharing the beauty, with everyone.

Well, this all has me thinking, that maybe meaningful work could come
out of just cherishing beauty more, in more productive ways, than I have
been. I mean because lately I have been torn between what would bring me
closer to money and therefore sex, and the fact that my happiness is
important and may not come from those things, and that my happiness is
what might get me those things.

If I were to just focus 100% on even just surrounding myself with beauty
what would happen? I mean take control of my environment in this way,
systematically, based on, and as I continue, becoming more intouch with my
emotions.

If possible, I would love to be able to create a shift in societies
appreciation in true beauty, as opposed to what I’ve been seeing in
most of the media today which is just watered down.

Davinci was most well know as a Painter.

So I want to do a thought experiment right now. If starting now I were to
surround myself with beauty, what would I do, and what would the result be.

I would do music, maybe get a few new room posters, sing more and walk
around outside more, I could commit to drawing
based on one art peice every day. I could commit to reading a certain amount
of poetry, every day, trying to discover or uncover poets I resonate with.

I just thought of one major thing that could happen which is memory
improvements. I feel like beautiful things , music, art(at least drawing
something) rhymer, etc, are easier to remember. If you think about it,
the more you can (and want to) remember, the more you will have to draw
from when thinking. So really, the more beauty you take in, especially that
which has some intellectual/conceptual competent, the smarter you should get.

So an interesting area to look into would be the bridge between cognitive science
and aesthetics. What are the algorithms of aesthetics and what are the
corresponding states in the mind? For example. I’m guess it will have
to do with being more interconnected conceptually and in the brain.

This is interested as life and reality are also based on everything being
connected.

So iunno what is more important to me at this point. Beauty, or understanding.

I guess I should do both as I’ve said. If I can’t produce one day I can
at least surround myself with it in as many ways as possible, and exercise
for more beauty and better perception of beauty.

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