The Sharing of Ideas

We work out because if we don’t our bodies wont stay strong or grow stronger but instead will atrophy.

This is because we don’t need to use our bodies as much in the more developed world.

With out minds it’s a different story I guess, so we often have lot’s of thoughts and find it hard to focus.
Iunno, I guess my thing is that I have found a strong passion in personal development and especially in developing my body. However, as far as my mind goes, well I already use it a lot, to solve problems etc. However I don’t try to actively develop it…well actually I guess I get curious about things and so in those cases I do try to develop it. However this is not the same as a regimen designed to stretch my capabilities which is what I have in physical fitness.

There are many options for cognitive development that I could get into, it seems though that I find it hard to stick with things. Especially when they call for memorization which means focusing on something long enough to remember it, and not on all the other things I might otherwise want to focus on. So why can’t I focus on memorizing the things I want to memorize without getting bored? Also, should I learn how to focus on those things?

I feel like part of it is that everyone talks about doing what you’re passionate about, that it’s the way to do well. Sure I can see evidence for this if I look at my GPA in college not being that high. However, it could also have been the college, the teachers, etc. I mean, now I’m in university and this is supposed to be the stuff I am interested in. So why don’t I feel like studying? I am still looking for something else.

So I kind of feel like that something else…well part of it is that I want to be able to support myself and don’t want to have to do a 9-5 job I hate. The other part though, I feel like I’m just not inspired. I feel like to be inspired…the things that inspired me growing up, were who I could become. Who I could become if I worked hard enough at it. Not who I could become if I did only things I enjoy.

Although of course there are somethings I couldn’t stick with because more than just being boring, they were also inefficient ways of getting to my goals.

Hmmm, well I decided to read some of my political philosophy homework, the stuff about John stuart Mill who is supposed to be the same MBTI type as me, and on the first page was his childhood where mentors pushed him to become an “intellectual giant” which lead to an “intellectual and emotiona breakdown” after which point he turned to poetry for emotional experiences. So now I’m thinking maybe I’ll need more than just becoming awesome.

If I think about it, for one thing it might b foolish for us to think of ourselves as being so significant.

For another thing even my workouts go way better when I am working out in a public gym, vs just at home.

So maybe I need to focus on the people aspect of my life. Maybe that is what is missing, what will push me to become what is best for me.

It could be that what is missing from my learning, remains, that I don’t get enough opportunity to express that knowledge to others. Like learning a language but never using it. Like working out but never showing off you rock hard ab/ss. So I feel with school, that for some reason, the most important thing for me, is being able to share my ideas.

I remember the one time I was taking with my professor at college, through email. Until 12 midnight we were going back and forth with emails, just discussing ideas. Well I was discussing ideas that I didn’t understand and he was helping my understand them, and I was frantic in my attempt to pass that class. However, I felt something there. Not only did I feel gratitude at how much he was willing to put into helping me with my studies, but I guess I felt hope that he might see and respect the way I think.

So what I think I would enjoy far more than studying just for the sake of knowing things, is studying so that I can share and expand on all those things with whoever else is interested. Programming is another example. If I could be programming with someone else, who can see all the thoughts that come out, and the learning etc, it would feel meaningful.

Just like how I don’t try to get good at MTG if I have no one else to play with.

So then, when it comes to WHAT subject I want to study…maybe what is more important is WHO is around me that is willing to let me share my thoughts with them, and has enough to say in response that will keep me interested.


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