Focusing on “The Body” After dream interpretation (A few days late in posting)

Last night i had a dream that my mom was urging me to have my arms amputated and rewired to cybornetic arms. She was telling me I needed to do this because of the threat of some sort of bone disease thatthere was a chance i would eventually getlater on in life if I didn’t. I was really scared but actually considering it. I asked someone, a nurse? or iunno, because where was this happening, i thought it was at home, about if they use anesthetic and they said something about pain killers lol. I was thinking about doing it since i had all this meditation practice from before and thought I shouldnt’ have to be so scared.

I think I left without giving a definit answer, maybe I said later I’ll c or something. Then I think in the basement of my room, I took off my shirt and i had all this black stuff attached to my back, like a black thick mold covering it like tar. So I started scraping it off with m fingers. Next I walked into a good friend’s house and into the basement or somewhere and two other good friends where there and I think they were offended that I just showed up and walked into his house like that but I don’t think I even appologized.

Today I learned about rembrant’s painting of a philosopher and a woman making him tea and I feel like it’s something I would cry if I could lol. It felt like it was my mom and me in a way. Then later that good friend who’s house I was in, in the dream, irl texted me what’s new. and we get into a very intellectual discussion and I used this as an opportunity to see if maybe there was something there in terms of life and goals. Well by the end of the conversation, he was entertained by the debate as was I.

LaterI read this forum post and…

I think I need to try and make time for everything, or just a lot of things. That is what I’m getting from this entp blog I’m reading and I like the idea. He has like 16 things he does every day. Most of which are self-improvement oriented. It makes sense for a lot of reasons. For one, I don’t get too focused on one thing and deny myself improvements in other areas. I also leave enought time for all hobbies. I also low myself the chance to improve and feel success and the new experiences these successes lead to. It’s just the time management that might be hard. Also his thing is making it a lifetime adventure. So for lnaguage learnig for instance he will always be learning one a language I guess.

heh, actually he is an entj, but it got me thinking anyways and now I’m going to go for it. It’s like organizing my own development instead of relying soley on chance. Chance will happen anyways. However, I want to be able to have habits of purposeful development, that I can count on.

That could also have relevance to the dream I had. My mom telling me I should get robotic arms for my own good. Habits are kind of like being robotic, automated. So like, if I were part machine, I would be better. The next day were the teacher refered to the painting my rembrant, he said something about “The body”, but also that having to do with slaves and workers building up a nation. So following routines is kind of like being a slave to yourself. To what the future would be if you didn’t have those routines.

Also there is the fact that in the dream the robot hands also represented my anxieties for the 3 years of college and the year leading up, where I did become amazing at habits. I do feel like in some ways I have not been able to get back to that level as far as habits, and self-control. I think it would be cool, as long as I didn’t have to sacrifice too much. I just need a balance. For instance, what’s 25 minutes of not day dreaming per day. Not
a big deal, especially if it will net me other opportunies that lead to inspiration. What’s staying up late if the thoughts I think then are less useful and insightful. As long as I make daily habits that allow enough time to myself, I wont be sacrificing my time. Just getting the most out of it. If I have 5 hrs instead of 10, I’ll usually
fit 10 hrs of daydreaming into 5. However, If I have NO time, then I’ll feel it, unless I end up just daydreaming as I work…and this is another thing. If I can day dream and think while I work in many cases, then maybe I don’t need as much time to myself as I have though.
I just need to get used to thinking about two things at once or something. Like when I make music and I can still think about whatever else I want. So, if I became part robot, basically if I could have automatic processes of success, then it would be like achieving what the dream was urging me to. Not only that, but then I would be able to say to everyone else, that they need learn how to do these things as well. Become part robot. Do it, because it
is the only way to find peace? freedom? Yes, because is giving up a form of freedom? I don’t know. I think being able to work at anything indefinitly, and improving, and eventually enjoying it, is closer.

Basically be ok with doing things that are hard. If you have that, that mental strength,  if everyone had that mental strenght, AND they were willing to cooperate instead of compete, we would truly have a utopia. Forget about finding that ONE THING that yu truly love. Learn to love doing all the things you need to do to improve. Learn to make it a habit. Being able to work even when no rewards are forth coming but hoping they will come eventually.
That is freedom.

Then later I thought basically that since rembrant was also being thought to be representing the woman in teh paint to be the body of society and the philosopher to be the head, it would make sense that just as in the paining, and in the dream(in a twisted way I guess) I could focus more on my body. I’m sure my mom would respect that decision.

Well by the end of that night i had come down with a cold, but I had just picked up many vitamins ad healthy foods so I should be ok by tmr. Well hopefully. So this focus on the body(which I plan/ed to have as a goald of being as healthy as humanly possible) actually transitions nicely to my latest post where I talk about how I gain energy from beautiful ambience (music, room decor), and so yeah it fits in that way as well.

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