Sexuality and Motivation

I feel like getting older, having more responsibilities, puts a dampener on what would otherwise by  very rampant sex drive. As I increase my sexual energy through a variety of means, as well as my level of optimism and confidence, I become aware that my ability to explore sexuality is dependent on my ability to handle my responsibilities.

If I want to be available when a willing partner is in the mood, for example, I need to have done all my homework and studying for tests ahead of time. So I am now losing interesting in procrastination. Also because of the idea that my sex drive might be lowered just by knowing there are things I have to do.

So one kind of life goal I guess wuld be to not have anything that “needs” doing anymore, or just to always be well ahead of dead lines. Also this makes me want to work, like get a better job etc so I can have that sense of freedom. This same thing happened last year around this time when I started jogging and working out and I think edging as well. So what should I do about it? I definitely want to stay in school. It feels like where I belong in a big way.

I believe this was my motivation for going to college the first time actually, or at least to study for personal trainining! I was doing the 7 day cycle and I think edging, and I just started focusing more and more on what I needed to do to have the sex life I wanted. I realize though that my ideas of ideal sex life were kind of naivee. Also the way I lost that steam I had going into college, I think had a bit to do with my change of sex habits to nofap hardmode, and less jogging etc. Anyways I hope now to come at this from a more refined angle/perspective.Based on the shit I am good at and where I will feel more at home.

On the bus my thoughts were: Maybe I could benifit by getting inolved in computer science.
Maybe also an important factor is that I’m cool with not doing everything all on my own also it would be a pretty good way of indirectly helping people believe more in themselves if I try to have us tackle a big goal..
I think I need to focus on what ideas I could contribute since this seems to a major strength along with my understanding of people.

I feel like getting older, having more responsibilities, puts a dampener on what would otherwise by  very rampant sex drive. As I increase my sexual energy through a variety of means, as well as my level of optimism and confidence, I become aware that my ability to explore sexuality is dependent on my ability to handle my responsibilities.

If I want to be available when a willing partner is in the mood, for example, I need to have done all my homework and studying for tests ahead of time. So I am now losing interesting in procrastination. Also because of the idea that my sex drive might be lowered just by knowing there are things I have to do.

So one kind of life goal I guess wuld be to not have anything that “needs” doing anymore, or just to always be well ahead of dead lines. Also this makes me want to work, like get a better job etc so I can have that sense of freedom. This same thing happened last year around this time when I started jogging and working out and I think edging as well. So what should I do about it? I definitely want to stay in school. It feels like where I belong in a big way.

I believe this was my motivation for going to college the first time actually, or at least to study for personal trainining! I was doing the 7 day cycle and I think edging, and I just started focusing more and more on what I needed to do to have the sex life I wanted. I realize though that my ideas of ideal sex life were kind of naivee. Also the way I lost that steam I had going into college, I think had a bit to do with my change of sex habits to nofap hardmode, and less jogging etc. Anyways I hope now to come at this from a more refined angle/perspective.Based on the shit I am good at and where I will feel more at home.

On the bus my thoughts were: Maybe I could benifit by getting inolved in computer science.
Maybe also an important factor is that I’m cool with not doing everything all on my own also it would be a pretty good way of indirectly helping people believe more in themselves if I try to have us tackle a big goal..
I think I need to focus on what ideas I could contribute since this seems to a major strength along with my understanding of people.

Ok, so my thoughts now are:

I feel like getting older, having more responsibilities, puts a dampener on what would otherwise by  very rampant sex drive. As I increase my sexual energy through a variety of means, as well as my level of optimism and confidence, I become aware that my ability to explore sexuality is dependent on my ability to handle my responsibilities.

If I want to be available when a willing partner is in the mood, for example, I need to have done all my homework and studying for tests ahead of time. So I am now losing interesting in procrastination. Also because of the idea that my sex drive might be lowered just by knowing there are things I have to do.

So one kind of life goal I guess wuld be to not have anything that “needs” doing anymore, or just to always be well ahead of dead lines. Also this makes me want to work, like get a better job etc so I can have that sense of freedom. This same thing happened last year around this time when I started jogging and working out and I think edging as well. So what should I do about it? I definitely want to stay in school. It feels like where I belong in a big way.

I believe this was my motivation for going to college the first time actually, or at least to study for personal trainining! I was doing the 7 day cycle and I think edging, and I just started focusing more and more on what I needed to do to have the sex life I wanted. I realize though that my ideas of ideal sex life were kind of naivee. Also the way I lost that steam I had going into college, I think had a bit to do with my change of sex habits to nofap hardmode, and less jogging etc. Anyways I hope now to come at this from a more refined angle/perspective.Based on the shit I am good at and where I will feel more at home.

On the bus my thoughts were: Maybe I could benifit by getting inolved in computer science.
Maybe also an important factor is that I’m cool with not doing everything all on my own also it would be a pretty good way of indirectly helping people believe more in themselves if I try to have us tackle a big goal..
I think I need to focus on what ideas I could contribute since this seems to a major strength along with my understanding of people.
Maybe I should focus on ideas that other people can implement.

Ok, so my thoughts now are:

I’ve already tried starting my own business and I don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy the isolation.
Also I don’t really have a business or money making idea. I mean sure I can think of some, just that none are very efficient, or if they are they require a huge amount of work upfront.
Also even just thinking about money right now, it totally psyches my out of studying and I have a test tmr.
One thing I haven’t really tried, and that seems most authentic, would be to just put everything into school.
What could that get me though? I need more than just good grades.
Hmmm, well I know there are opportunities to work while in school, but is that even the best use of my time? Especially when I have a part time job already with 2 years in and formed some great relationships.
I have ideas, but they are focused on living the life I want, not on money. My ideas are what has resulted in so many awesome discoveries.
I know what I can do. I can put everything into school. I can give it 110% and hope that in doing so I become exceptional to the point that I am respected by teachers as well as peers. To the point where jobs are guaranteed and, taking out a loan will not be an issue, and maybe I’ll even find ways into a business thing with the school or something crazy like that.
There wont be a quick way to supporting myself and school full time. At least not one that will allow me to work at my highest potential.
What focusing all this sexual energy on school will do is it will be the union of that sexual instinct to provide or whatever, and my natural intellectual inclinations. This seems like by far the best use of that energy I can think of right now.

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