Spirituality, intellegence, dreams, teal swan, mindfulness of the shit lol

“It’s a seasoning you have to accept” – a quote from a dream I had where I was fighting my Tae Kwon Do instructor on top of a train car and this mysterious intense pain in my stomach that I’ve had in many other dreams happened and as in many of the others, it was as if someone was doing it to me. In this case in was the instructor and he said “it’s a seasoning you have to accept”. Then in the dream I knew what it meant and so I screamed into the pain, with the pain, and in a state of I guess pride, and the pain was more accepted.

I listened to Teal Swan talk about spirituality 2.0 where you learn that just focusing on positive goals eventually means being happy but always running from discomfort and so it’s maybe not optimal. So you allow discomfort to happen, or maybe run towards it even.

This is supposed to be a goal you reach after you get as far as you can into 1.0 where you are happy almost all the time. Iunno about that though. I feel like it just depends on how much drive you have to be happy all the time. (which may be due to some innate level of spirituality)

I feel I have done some of the 2.0 stuff although maybe not always for the right reasons. Like I have felt really lonely because I was not willing to not hang with people I didn’t like.

Anyways I realized that a lot of the most important things I’ve learned in life have been about how to be happy and for the most art these aren’t things you can make money off of. I often have wished I could find something that I could be satisfied doing that I could also make money off of but for the most part I haven’t found it.

I realized though, that if I focus on 2.0, on being happy with things not being perfect, then that would mean I wouldn’t need to worry about what I could make money doing. I would be happy and inspired just because I chose to. It’s like, if we really have so much abundance, then no one should need to buy or sell anything. So maybe that is the path I’m on.

Monks make this stuff seem so boring. Living isolated up in the mountains and where robes. I have heard some of those guys aren’t even seeking spirituality 2.0 or even 1.0, but instead are seeking followers so they can feel like the shit. Spirituality 2.0 as I’ve experienced it is way different because when you are really engaged in your spiritual growth and get those moments of euphoria and connection, it’s actually awesome.

My main issue now is that I feel way happier now than I did over the summer when I was lonely a lot and apparently social contact is a human need. I’m wondering if I feel happy because of the health from connection only, or if being in school makes me feel more connected to society and more valuable. If it is the later, I am wondering if it’s because I THOUGHT/think that being valuable is still important and this is just a belief I can overcome, or if it is a deeper psychological need that is hard to get over, or if it’s even just something that is a want, but a deep want, that I haven’t learned to live without.

Also I realize at and after 2.0 I would be way more in the moment because I wouldn’t be planning how to get away from boredom that could creep up in the future. So I would be more in the moment, and I realized that being in the moment makes it easier to learn so I would be smarter? It makes me wonder if spiritual development will parallel with intellectual development and ability.


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