Self-Actualization/fulfillment/fun through taking on new goals like a game!

So I wonder if my goal is to become a better human.

Also I think I’ve been limiting myself to much by trying to summarize my whole reason for living in one simple motivation.

I mean, I don’t only live for goals, I also live for family, friends, simple pleasures some what, etc. Anyways when it comes to youtube, and meeting people, and just generally
having something meaningful to focus on, it seems I work best when I focus on what I want. I was thinking today that I focus a lot on doing things on my own. Especially
on being independently happy. It’s weird though that it seems being independently happy isn’t like the end goal. I still want friends etc.

However, I guess I don’t want to have a end goal at all. I do want goals though, just that I want to be always growing. It seems though that it’s still better to focus on one milestone at a time, at least in the moment, not on any really end goal. I mean, games aren’t fun when you get to the end, they are fun when you are about to reach a new level. So I should always be seeking the next level, in all my activities, including fitness, even though it seems many people believe in a sort of plateau, I don’t think it makes
sense to.

Also, eating, exercising, and sleeping, are just the basics, the foundation.

Also it seems activities like music, story writing, and comedy are really creative but that this makes them goal less. Like there is no way to compare how good I am, it’s so random and so individual. Something like language though has levels to reach. Same with weight training. Iunno, maybe language is about Si just like fitness is, but it’s like social Si.

btw I was thinking now that I can learn hanzi faster using etymology, that I should just
rush it and d 20 a day. However, then it becomes the type of goal where I am trying to just be done with it. I realize now that the fun isn’t in being done with it, the fun is everyday when I do it and see myself getting a little bit closer. If I become unsatisfied with my progress, that could be because of other things in my life, and not the Chinese learning. It could be that I’m over compensating instead of fixing the real issues.

So it seems I’d rather have a 20min/day habit than for life, then not have that habit
because I completed everything already.

I just want more 20min habits now. More goals I can say I’m working towards.

Also it seems as much as I like being creative, I find being creative to be not challenging usually and not as rewarding. The things that I find most rewarding seem to be things that just take practice. Weights, languages, etc.

It’s interesting because once I get good at a certain skills I’m sure I will be able to just funnel it into something creative. It’s just that I need to put in the practice to get there.

Ok, I’m getting it now. It seems I might need to focus on just putting more skills into my brain, increasing my base of strength basically, and then from there whenever I want to be creative, I will have way more skills to call from to do so with.

Hmmm, I wonder, what about classical music?
Skate boarding?
These are all things I’ve been interested in at one point because I felt it would be cool to have them, but then I got board of them and gave up. If I had stuck with them, doing a little bit every day, then every day I would be able to say I had goals and every day I would be able to feel that dopamine rush of reaching new mile stones. However, back then, this was not my frame of mind. I wasn’t seeking fulfillment, I was seeking recognition and acceptance ect.

Hmmmmmmmm, or am I turning into an ISFJ again? Putting the Si first? Am I feeling like creativity isn’t satisfying enough to me and is it because I’m hampering it, maybe by not collaborating with other people? It seems the best way to invest in myself might be through these types of goals, instead of through creativity which is already innate, takes no effort, and feels less rewarding?

Well, if I do music, even if I don’t do classical, I should probably do theory. Theory is what I think is missing from my strength. I can be creative without it but I’m very limited. If I learn theory, I will gain control over my musical ability.

Music theory is to music
as Hanzi is to Chinese

Iunno, this doesn’t seem exactly ISFJ to me, because I’m striving to be a renaissance man. I’m just realizing what my weakest links are to that end so I can work on them.

Also I feel this may be what that Chinese Canadian culture is about to some extent. Having goals, becoming the shit. Turning life into a game, instead of needing to find games in some virtual world that you can be good at. Focusing on skills is half the battle, the other half is how much you do, and making habits of doing a bit, and having multiple goals so that they all remain fresh.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: