Sociology: For someone(entp?) who loves strategic challenge and humanity

well it’s 1:30 once again and here I am with another idea: Also I’ll note for the record I jogged twice week. once for 20 min on Wednesday after weights, and Friday(yesterday) for 8min lol after weights (felt burnout approaching so I stopped)  .

The process of weeding out bad options:

I mean, this may just be the natural process my mind has to go through to get to the right path. Just like the process of quitting a bad habit takes many attempts for the mind to learn the difference in mood from doing it and not doing it, for it to feel rewarding to not do it. I think the same type of thing is happening with this job search. I am slowly narrowing down my options. I moved away from the idea of just working for money, it didn’t feel right on so many levels, like I would be neglecting myself and everyone else.

The process of weeding out beautiful-inspired options that are somehow missing something:

I’m kind of moving away from art and music as well because although I enjoy them they don’t draw me in as much as I feel a job/game should. I need something focused more on strategy in an empowering feeling way that makes me feel alive. I want whatever career/game I chose to go into, to feel awesome to the music I listen to. I mean, I want to be able to play Avril Lavign’s losing grip” while walking to my friends house and feel like I am someone important, someone who is making a difference. I want that more than money.

 

The process of using experiences that make me feel alive as a gauge for what I like:

MTG, SC, Smash Brose, these games with strategy draw me in. It’s the strategy, the decision making, that draws me it. This is not replicated in programming and math because in these areas it seems mostly about buildings something based on how other people have done it. I would rather work on things where I use my mind strategically to solve something where I have less to go on. That is why in the above named games I am hesitant to even follow the strategies available I would much rather create my own.

The process of weeding out options that fit the above model except they are missing the people element:

Also programming and math are lacking a people element and it doesn’t seem authentic for me to go into either when the reason I would be doing so would be souly based on how I feel it would help humanity for me to do so. Psychology is cool but it is in a way more removed from “people” as although there is research to go into since I’m not interested in counseling(although once I get this sorted out I’ll probably try life coaching on the side, or at least market my blog. I also still feel like that research would be pretty far removed from the world of people.

The process of hindsight for seeing what would have made my choice an obvious one:

After seeing the video by Daniel H. Pink, I feel more confident to explore the possibility of sociology. Now thinking about it, I am pretty sure it is no coincidence that the course in school I think I found most engaging so far has been sociology at Seneca, and next would be European Civilization at York which I feel is deeply centered around sociology.

The process of building up determination and confronting possible obstacles/roadblocks:

I have heard many things about sociology being not a worth while course and only people bad at math go into them. However, I see the other side of the coin, about how it is actually needed, and that someone like me could probably make a huge difference in that area.

So that is where I’m at now, not sure how I’ll feel in the morning. Iunno what I’m basing everything on is, can I study the subject on my own and still feel engaged. That is a test I’ve been trying because it seems if I can’t do that, then it’s usually because I’m not interested in it enough but just interested in the people who are interested in it. Also I have this fear that if I chose a career that is based on just helping people, then if people don’t want my help, (this is worse case senario) if they just say, we actually only want people who can make technical stuff, if you can’t do that then we don’t need you(in society). Or something like that or I just get sick of people (which would probably mean depression which I avoid). However, I feel my study of people is not limited to helping them, but it is also just about me understanding them and maybe well not exactly integrating, but maybe learning how to improve relationships. So I feel that kind of knowledge will never be a waste. Also, thinking positively I guess the better I understand people the better I can figure out things I can create and provide for them, within my range of interest.

The thoughts that come after 2am about a goal I’m not even sure I’m going to go with…

Also, as I think I’ve wrote before, I’m more interested in doing what I believe in than in doing what other people want to pay me for. I mean, if I think the world could benefit from ideas like MBTI and others that I can research on, I would rather that be my life’s work and no one want it, than spend my life working on something I think is pointless for me and for society, and be paid to do that shit. I mean, as long as some people care about me (since as I said before I am in this spiritual position because I have people who love me, otherwise I’m not sure if I would care enough about others to be so focused on them, well maybe as long as I kept healthy, maybe it’s just a natural part of me… guess it doesn’t matter tho). Iunno, this is worse case scenario stuff though, basically it’s like saying what if I had a masters in comp sci but no one wanted to hire me just because. However, at least this way I am focused on what I actually care about. Basically, it’s for all the marbles. If I get tossed in the waste bin, I will remember how I fought the good fight. Also I’ll not give up and just take it one day at a time with my positive goal in mind and with a winning attitude.

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