Transition into Art for psychosomatic heath, letting the profound happen on it’s own

I wonder if as a society, and as a race, we are moving towards beauty as being of primary importance. It would make sense if this were the case because, well beauty impacts humanity in many ways. Psychologically, psycho-somaticly, even intellectually and philosophically as beauty carries elements of mathematics and philosophy  both by extension of math and for the epistemological analysis of the function beauty might serve. Iunno, I guess not everyone will really appreciate beauty to the same extent, however, I feel it is one thing that has guided me throughout my life.

I am thinking about this because well, last post I kind of built up argument for focusing on research and idea generation. Also the idea of the focus split between empowerment and exploration. In this post I am thinking that beauty is also a huge factor to focus on. Also I will note now that although I love discovery, I find I am not as motivated to do the searches that lead towards the discovery, or at least, those searches must be efficient, not like, reading half way through a book to decide I don’t like it. Anyways, I feel that what ever I decide to focus on as a daily thing for the joy of it, I should focus on it for intrinsic reasons. empowerment doesn’t really have intrinsic reasons. While it is important, it’s we focus on as needed, not as an end to itself. So I don’t think it makes sense to consciously focus on it, I would have no direction.

Focusing on beauty and exploration however, would be to empower myself to find/create more of those things. So what I’m getting at is that empowerment for it’s own sake is useless. This is why even if you could shoot fireballs out of your wrists, if you had no need to, that source of power would be basically useless beyond a party trick. So I do focus on empowerment, but mostly in that I don’t accept dis-empowerment.

See I have been very attracted to games with beautiful scenery and characters, but for the most part, as far as inspiring characters go, they would have to be both beautiful and powerful. I wouldn’t feel comfortable playing a character who was not taking control of their own destiny. In video games this wouldn’t manifest as a desire to play the character of a hard working man, it would be someone who shoots fireballs out of their hands. This is because the carl jung archetype of hero, which I was trying to live through, fought physical battles. Man or woman didn’t matter as much when it came to playing with the character or watching a movie based on them. All that mattered was beauty and physical prowess, and more so, enough to be the ultimate hope of humanity even. That’s the archetype I think.

However, the more I grew the more I learned about different situations a person may find themselves in beyond the physical challenges. After many years I realize physical challenges are rarely the problem, but that the problem is more broad and more about mind-set. Do you fancy yourself a bad-ass, or a wimp? Can you do anything, or nothing? So focused on positive psychology for the time I was still developing and becoming my idea self at the time. Also I guess my mbti type naturally has a positive can-do attitude but we just realize it’s importance and work on it even more when needed. For me, it’s partly about pride, and self-respect, I need to come to the conclusion that I can do anything, in order to feel best about myself. That I can either do anything, or at least still be happy with myself, respect myself for taking responsibility for myself either way, and therefore see myself as an amazing and inspiring person, even if I fail at some things.

So beyond that which I feel is at a good level for now, I just want to have not simply hobbies, but things that light me up inside, which therefore I am empowered for being able to do. I feel like what kind of discouraged me from art was the idea of the starving artist. It just does not seem too empowering. My earlier solution(many years earlier) was to get a good job and then pay people to make the art. Now though, my solution is for me, art is empowering. If I make art it should be because it’s making my life better than anything else would, not because I just can’t do anything else, or what other reasons are there, therapy, like a persona with emotional problems or a drug addiction needs to paint to get it out. That to me is like, they are victims in their own lives and art is their only escape or something. That’s not my bag, that’s not very inspiring to me, no disrespect for them. For me, I want to make art because it makes me feel even more awesome than I already do which is pretty fucking awesome.

I just feel like an artist who spends most of their time unhappy and just expecting art to solve it, is doing something majorly wrong. Art is not a cure-all thing. I just have this image of a lot of irresponsible artists and that’s like, what people are being shown as what it means to be an artist. Like, if it weren’t for people enjoying their work and paying for it they would be miserable and just accept it. That makes me not want to be an artist because it conflicts with my core value of self-empowerment. It makes me think art can’t be empowering, but at the same time the things I gravitate towards and feel power from the most are mostly artistic. Basically I feel that if I found the right thing to do, working a shitty job wouldn’t feel shitty at all, just like level grinding in wow doesn’t feel as shitty when you are in such a beautiful world in the first place. If I had beautiful things on my mind to think about and get home to, my life would feel more vibrant.

However, do I want to focus on creating something like drawings or music ect? I mean that stuff is good but it often seems like I get almost as much enjoyment from just finding other peoples stuff. However if I do things like film, like music videos, where I am combining stuff other people made, together to express more complex ideas, I find that more valuable in a way. It’s like hacking. Like innovation instead of invention. Putting cool things together to create other cool things. This way what I am doing is enjoyable the whole time because I’m already playing around with something I enjoy, not making something out of nothing. The other idea is film instead of novels because I often see my ideas more than feel them. It’s often more analytical and less about expressing emotion (although I do feel and have emotion to express, even then I feel I find the strongest emotion in the visual and audio content expressing the idea. Although I don’t know, I guess I do have a way with words, I think it’s more about what comes more natural when I am trying to create something. I create things in pictures first, then I can describe them.

Anyways, the thing is, although I love art and beauty, I’m wondering if my focus should be on the nuts and bolts of beauty or on the level of ideas. With AMVs I have the chance to focus more on beautiful ideas where as if I were to focus on just art it would be, well it would be a grind, but also it would limit what I could achieve. I also just realized I could do even more if I got other people to join me in creating something, but that’s another story. Well actually, that would be the same as if I were to do mash ups for music and for other art instead of trying to create everything myself, some of it would be my original ideas, but most could be taken from other inspirations. All the most beautiful features I can find, put together in a way that works.

Also part of my interest in beauty is as it pertains to my own physical appearance as I feel that has a huge impact on other people and it’s really cool how it works. Beautiful language, beautiful fitness, hair, clothes, beautiful way of moving, ect. Then there are beautiful personalities which would include mental efficiency and knowledge ect. I guess all of this stuff would relate to stories and film. Film though also allows for beautiful ideas about what events could happen. Then there is also interior design which I find cool as well. It’s something that actually has a large psychosomatic affect on the individual. It’s something that if I had the money I would make my room look awesome because I want to, and then I could show other people it.

So maybe there is a separation, beauty for psychosomatic purpose, and beauty for emotional-intellectual purpose. Of course movies could combine all of these and more, I just want to note it because one may be more motivating for me.

On my way to the gym I realized that the same way empowerment comes naturally and doesn’t need to be focused on for it’s own sake, I feel the same is true for creating curious things. The universe already creates things that I can explore and find curious. These things come to me, I don’t need to create them, and may not even need to seek them out, not for they’re own sake anyway. It seems they come to me as I search for other things and just go about my life. I just catch on to things as my mind picks up on them.

For example, now I am thinking I should focus my artistic ability on feng shui type things. Psycho-somatic health based art I might call it, iunno. Not to limit myself to feng shui, or even to visual art, just that I feel focusing on what feels good is maybe more important than trying to create so kind of super exciting thing. It’s like, maybe I need to sit back a bit and let the universe do it’s part. I mean, when I create things without trying to make the masterpeice, not only does it give me more motivation to actually create something, but this means more chances that what I create will end up being really cool, without it being cool because I set out to make something cool.

I mean, I almost would rather that. I enjoy it when I surprise myself. It’s more entertaining than if I set out to create something surprising because how can you surprise yourself if that was your goal in the first place. That makes it demotivating, or at least not as fun as if I surprised myself which has happened quite a bit since this blog began. Also if I did something just for the sake of that makes me feel good, I’m thinking it would be a hobby therefore, or something meaningful iunno. Btw this gives even more credit to personalityjunkie who said NPs who write usually do so in a more free flow way and it’s like the universal impulse speaks through them. That’s interesting.

So for example, I decided to read up on zen as apparently steve jobs, another entp, was into the physical side of zen and I can understand why. Then I decided I’ll check out fung shui instead of focusing on just doing what other entps are doing. Then I read that carl jung studied fung shui lol. So I realized, I guess I’m on the right track? Then I remembered my friend msg me today saying he was glad I told him 8 reps was the magic number, because it let him know he was on the right track in the gym cause he just decided to try it.

So what I’m thinking is that just like exercise is like a battery for my mind and it very important to my health, and I realized even simple things like a hot shower make a difference,  maybe that extends to design as well, and maybe if I gained skill in design for areas of my life, if it didn’t translate into a job, it would at least be something that would improve my life by a lot, making it worth the time investment. Also I’d be not as bored, although I still want to do fun things just for fun, with friends.

I feel like a lot of man made things that seem mystical, were not created to be that way, they just are that way because life is that way. Man just made it to promote it’s life. I guess that’s what I should focus on, promoting my life, including the things that make me feel good but with the exceptions of the  the revolutionary or profound things and hoping that maybe those will happen on there own as they often do, and then writing about them here as I do everything else.

It’s almost like setting out to do something remarkable is biting of more than one can chew but that it is something that does add up over time, to become something profound, even though that may not have been the aim. I feel like I do enjoy the awe inspiring things, but that to base my life on that would be inauthentic in that there are just many other things to enjoy. The awe inspiring things will happen on their own and that is half of what is awe inspiring about them.

I just realized that if improving the physical environment is good for psychsomatic health, that may party explain the urge people or at least men, have to be physically dominant in some way, through strength or martial arts or iunno. Or maybe it’s more of an instinctual thing. Or maybe it’s both.

Also I realized that although reading about entp artists I read most gravitate towards music than visual arts. I thought oh no maybe my best bet is to pick up an instrument. No though, I realize, not that I will just follow what my type says, but I already sing. I sing because it feels good, although I do hope one day other people can hear me sing, I will sing regardless because it’s goof for me.

I will end this post with an interesting thought. The crazy idea that maybe human self-consciousness ego ect, is only there so maybe we can learn exactly what we should be doing. Maybe if we new down o the second exactly what we should be doing, we would live our lives without conscious thought. For example, people when driving often just zone out until they reach their destination. Another example would be the “flow state”. However these can’t last because eventually some thing happens like we ge hungry, or we need to do something else, something we haven’t predicted so it doesn’t enter into our work flow. If everything was a part of our work flow, it might be that we would stay in flow state and humans would cease to be conscious in the way we are now, and instead be more like machines, and consciousness would be a separate thing that exists as the observer only. I don’t know, I guess I don’t see this happening because who wants to have everything planned out, and also we need to socialize and I don’t think that is a flow state thing.

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