Universal Laws, Innate compass, Music

Follow up from last post: So today I worked out at the gym at school and felt good after. Then I went to the library and made music, played around with a harmony until I got something I liked including the right instrument, and then I added melodies, ambience, drums, ect, and it was awesome. The whole time I was thinking very deep thoughts as I explored novel music that has never been heard before, and found what I liked. I guess I was thinking kind of depressing thoughts, but more like I was working through some troubling thoughts, and I felt myself almost building up stories in my head to go along with that music and those thoughts. It was all about discovery, self discovery even, just finding something i liked, by putting it together, instead of by surfing the web mindlessly, so I was finding./creating something that expressed who I was, to me, and now that the music is on youtube, to everyone.

I realized also that music is the one thing that after I create something, I come back to experience it again and even to add to it because I just enjoy it and it speaks to my soul so well. I almost never look through my old artwork, or my old AMVs, or my old poetry(unless it goes with music and/or is sooo deep), or even my old stories really. Just music.

Recap: I had a dream that I was in a outdoor hot tub or natural spring, in a very beautiful forest at night with a friend. Then turned to my right and it was ATB sitting in the pool with a red shirt on. I realized I had a red shirt on too and I said hey look. Then he showed me under the sleeve that he had a patterned shirt on underneath, and I rolled up my sleeve realizing I had the same patterned shirt on underneath as well. The shirts weren’t exactly the same, just close enough that it was coincidental.

After telling someone close to me about that dream, the next day (yesterday) I was in a weird mood, wondering why I couldn’t make my self happy, feel love, deciding that there must be way to provide those feelings for myself. Not love like social love, love like happiness. I made some music before going to see some films and the music was not bad, just ok/good. Today I made more music and it was even better and it could be that I took more time to find something I like when I create, instead of just sticking with whatever came out. So if that dream meant something, maybe it meant I was musical at heart as well.

Today: of course I didn’t try to polish my music for anyone else, I just made sure I was making music I could enjoy, putting a bit of time in to try and find a sound that I could maybe even love. Also I think I was experiencing flow state as I ended up working on the music for maybe 2 hours+ when I meant to just give it 30min to an hour.

Then I went to play Magic the Gathering: and what happened was I made a bunch of really good decisions one after the other.
1) The guy told me about a draft of conspiracy where cards aren’t standard legal. I was thinking don’t play safe my money, but then I decided to wait it out, then I heard him say some cards were worth money so I said I’ll play. Especially since I came to meet people and have fun not to build a tournament deck and sit in the corner and brood.
2) I let the guy beside me give me whatever packs he wanted cause it’s random so even tho he kind of mixed them up and gave someone else the ones that were supposed to go to me it doesn’t matter
Result of these:
I got cards that made back the money I spent

3) Decided to go in for another draft cause it was only 8 or so and I didn’t feel like going home

I got a card worth 100$ which the store will only give me 60$ store credit for but that along with the cards from previous draft, plus third place in finals means 8$ more store credit. So I can use these to get most of the cards I need for a deck I could play in a standard tournament, and I had fun.

So I’m wondering if luck has anything to do with universal laws like doing things out of love instead of trying to take in some other way. Although I can imagine luck still being just luck, one thing for sure is that I am way happier doing things for the love of it and of the people I interact with, than for some other type of gain which wont mean anything without the people component. I also wonder if we really do have some internal compass like love where at least paired with the gaining of knowledge we can follow it and never be led astray, and never have to worry about other peoples judgements or fabricated concepts ect.



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