if money was no object: Bliss From Boredom?

pressure to make more than min wadge, and pressure to have own job were completely overshadowed by the realization that no amount of financial freedom can give me happiness compared to what I experienced with this ENFJ girl. So I ponder my next move as she is now out of my life. I wonder if part of why I couldn’t feel feelings for her was because of my near obsessiveness with achieving some financial independence. I ponder what I want my life to mean and what I want to make of my experience with her.

I realize I would be just as happy working min wadge all my life if I had people like her in my life. People like her make life worth living. Also though, the passion, I think I need more passion in my life. As much as I can get. From another girl, from music, from everything.  just want more love. Love that energizes me and makes me feel invincible.

So I’m thinking, how can I find my passion(s). I find myself looking back on the past, on things I’ve enjoyed doing as if those would be a good indication of what I will enjoy doing for the rest of my life or even temporarily again. However, I have tried some of these things and found myself losing steam and realizing that such and such an activity isn’t something I ca dedicate my life to or anything.

Now I’m thinking, the most inspiring thing for me in life seemed to be boredom. I mean, if there was no human intervention of someone saying hey check this out, and no human intervention of someone saying can you help me do such and such. If it’s just me. I guess I move towards the new shiny thing, and maybe it’s not entirely out of boredom like if some music or something captured my attention. Often though, at least when my creativity comes out, like my story ideas, are when I’m just bored.

I’m just thinking, it doesn’t make sense to go out with the goal of helping someone with whatever they need help with just to be passionate. Not even at the level of whole organizations does that become meaningful to me. What is meaningful to me is pleasure, and interest.

I just see this age in North America as punctuated by two specific psychological states. One is the urge for self actualization which Maslow argues to be a human need. The idea of it being a need is still very biased towards north American culture. This need is becoming something of an obsession where everyone wants to be something and prove themselves and validate themselves and I feel it is being over emphasized and i making people sick. The second is general apathy and boredom of people in developed nations with less to be scared of, less problems to solve, and therefore less meaning to work towards.

The thing is, at least for me, I suffer from both of these states simultaneously. I am both bored, but quelling that boredom with the need to self actualize, to be all I can be. Then in all my distracted obsession with being “something” which I never know exactly what that something is, I never get bored enough to actually DO something about my boredom which is the actual driver towards some authentic purpose, my entertainment(which I think creating entertainment would do more for society than trying to “help people”)

Apparently Boredom is the mother of creativity http://99u.com/articles/7188/why-boredom-is-good-for-your-creativity

well I think the mother is need to solve a problem, and the only problem many people have in developed countries is boredom, but they think they have another problem of needing to contribute to society and self actualize so their boredom is quelled by this instead of being quelled by actually creative something new which is ironically what society may need.

Now, just to be clear, I’m not talking about creativity that will lead to some dream career. I almost lost sight of my arguement but I am saying, creativity and action for the sake of love. What would you do if money were no object, you get a set amount for doing absolutely nothing and it is enough to live on. Be bored? Try new things? Create new things?

This ENFJ SHOWED me, beyond any doubt, that I can be loved and find happiness in that love, independent of my place in life. I don’t understand why I can’t love her how she wants to be loved.

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